My most recent days spent in God’s Word have been a salve to my deeply wounded soul. I have opened His precious Word to find strength, comfort, encouragement, ammunition, safety, and rest. The shelter of His Word has been my refuge. “Those who live in the shelter of the Most High will find rest in the shadow of the Almighty. This I declare about the Lord: He alone is my refuge, my place of safety; he is my God, and I trust him.” (Psalm 91:1-2)
Struggling to fight the mental assault, I realize the importance of “[letting] God transform [me] into a new person by changing the way [I] think.” (Romans 12:2) I recognize the need to “let the Spirit renew [my] thoughts and attitudes.” (Ephesians 4:23) Yet, in my desperation, the same old lies engulf my belief. I cried to Him the other night screaming, “I have head knowledge of the Truth in these verses, but I have no new thoughts. Give me new thoughts. Help me fight!” Then, as I talked with my mother the next day, explaining those moments from the night before with her, I remembered what I had read just that morning. He had answered my desperate plea with these words: “Now I will tell you new things, secrets you have not yet heard. They are brand new, not things from the past… Yes, I will tell you of things that are entirely new, things you never heard of before.” (Isaiah 48:6,7,8) I paused to soak in the very real answer He provided and then read of His promise for rescue. “I have refined you, but not as silver is refined. Rather, I have refined you in the furnace of suffering. I will rescue you for my sake – yes, for my own sake! I will not let my reputation be tarnished…” (Isaiah 8:10-11)
My depression is a matter of belief. Who do I believe? Despite my feelings of the moment, do I believe God? Do I believe His voice to me over the lies that seem to reflect my current state? There is a war going on in my mind. God has asked me to believe Him. I have lived my entire life believing I am who my enemy says I am. God wants to give me new thoughts to replace the belief in this lie, this voice of defeat.
He continues, “‘I have equipped you for battle.’ (Isaiah 45:5) You are not defeated. Fight the enemy’s voice with My Truth. ‘Fear not; you will no longer live in shame. Don’t be afraid; there is no more disgrace for you… For the Lord has called you back from your grief… In that coming day no weapon turned against you will succeed. You will silence every voice raised up to accuse you. These benefits are enjoyed by the servants of the Lord; their vindication will come from me. I, the Lord, have spoken!” (Isaiah 54:4,6,17)
Although I have yet to experience the total healing He promises me, I must proclaim, “How great is the goodness you have stored up for those who fear you. You lavish it on those who come to you for protection, blessing them before the watching world. You hide them in the shelter of your presence, safe from those who conspire against them. You shelter them in your presence, far from accusing tongues.” (Psalm 31:19-20) For, “morning by morning he wakens me and opens my understanding to his will. The Sovereign Lord has spoken to me, and I have listened… Because the Sovereign Lord helps me, I will not be disgraced. Therefore, I have set my face like a stone, determined to do his will. And I know that I will not be put to shame. He who gives me justice is near.” (Isaiah 50:4,5,7,8)
There is more, so much more. I want so desperately to share all that He has provided and promised me lately, but that is my story. That is His relevance to my very individual and specific needs at this time. What He draws me to share with you is the testimony of my experience with Him, and that He so longs to have that same personal relationship with you as well.
God wants to do for you just what He has done for me in the past few days. He wants to surprise you by the significance of the Truth in His Word to your current situation so that you too are drawn to Him for refreshment. “Search the book of the Lord, and see what he will do.” (Isaiah 34:16)
