Our minds fill with thoughts constantly. These thoughts indicate what we believe. By allowing untruths to inhabit our minds, we believe lies. To practice the verb of believing God’s Truth, we must “fix our thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.” (Philippians 4:8)
My thought life is where I often accept defeat. He reminds me of this when He says, “You make alliances not directed by my Spirit…” (Isaiah 30:1) My thoughts are in agreement with the enemy’s words to me not God’s Holy Spirit, thus bringing about my downfall. “I cry out to God; yes I shout. Oh, that God would listen to me! When I was in deep trouble, I searched for the Lord. All night long I prayed, with hands lifted toward heaven, but my soul was not comforted. I think of God, and I moan, overwhelmed with longing for his help.” (Psalm 77:1-3)
But, God doesn’t want this for me. He wants victorious living. “For I have chosen you and will not throw you away. Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.” (Isaiah 41:9-10) It is the belief in the lie, the alliance not directed by His Spirit, that has gotten me to this place. So, I must instead decide to believe Him and not the lie if there is any hope of rescue. I must decide to participate in His miracle for me by changing the way I think through agreement in my mind with His Spirit.
“But then I recall all you have done, O Lord; I remember your wonderful deeds of long ago. They are constantly in my thoughts. I cannot stop thinking about your mighty works. O God, your ways are holy. Is there any god as mighty as you? You are the God of great wonders! You demonstrate your awesome power among the nations. By your strong arm, you redeemed your people…” (Psalm 77:11-15) He adds, “Instead of dwelling in thought patterns contrary to who you know Me to be, ‘remember the things I have done in the past. For I alone am God! I am God, and there is none like me.’” (Isaiah 46:9)
God has done and continues to do a mighty work in my life for His glory. My thoughts must reflect who I know Him to be. “My dear, combat the enemy’s lies with the Truth of who ‘I AM.’” (Exodus 3:14) Changing any behavior requires a conscious effort. It must be the same for my thought life as well.
Monday, June 22, 2009
Recent Relevance
My most recent days spent in God’s Word have been a salve to my deeply wounded soul. I have opened His precious Word to find strength, comfort, encouragement, ammunition, safety, and rest. The shelter of His Word has been my refuge. “Those who live in the shelter of the Most High will find rest in the shadow of the Almighty. This I declare about the Lord: He alone is my refuge, my place of safety; he is my God, and I trust him.” (Psalm 91:1-2)
Struggling to fight the mental assault, I realize the importance of “[letting] God transform [me] into a new person by changing the way [I] think.” (Romans 12:2) I recognize the need to “let the Spirit renew [my] thoughts and attitudes.” (Ephesians 4:23) Yet, in my desperation, the same old lies engulf my belief. I cried to Him the other night screaming, “I have head knowledge of the Truth in these verses, but I have no new thoughts. Give me new thoughts. Help me fight!” Then, as I talked with my mother the next day, explaining those moments from the night before with her, I remembered what I had read just that morning. He had answered my desperate plea with these words: “Now I will tell you new things, secrets you have not yet heard. They are brand new, not things from the past… Yes, I will tell you of things that are entirely new, things you never heard of before.” (Isaiah 48:6,7,8) I paused to soak in the very real answer He provided and then read of His promise for rescue. “I have refined you, but not as silver is refined. Rather, I have refined you in the furnace of suffering. I will rescue you for my sake – yes, for my own sake! I will not let my reputation be tarnished…” (Isaiah 8:10-11)
My depression is a matter of belief. Who do I believe? Despite my feelings of the moment, do I believe God? Do I believe His voice to me over the lies that seem to reflect my current state? There is a war going on in my mind. God has asked me to believe Him. I have lived my entire life believing I am who my enemy says I am. God wants to give me new thoughts to replace the belief in this lie, this voice of defeat.
He continues, “‘I have equipped you for battle.’ (Isaiah 45:5) You are not defeated. Fight the enemy’s voice with My Truth. ‘Fear not; you will no longer live in shame. Don’t be afraid; there is no more disgrace for you… For the Lord has called you back from your grief… In that coming day no weapon turned against you will succeed. You will silence every voice raised up to accuse you. These benefits are enjoyed by the servants of the Lord; their vindication will come from me. I, the Lord, have spoken!” (Isaiah 54:4,6,17)
Although I have yet to experience the total healing He promises me, I must proclaim, “How great is the goodness you have stored up for those who fear you. You lavish it on those who come to you for protection, blessing them before the watching world. You hide them in the shelter of your presence, safe from those who conspire against them. You shelter them in your presence, far from accusing tongues.” (Psalm 31:19-20) For, “morning by morning he wakens me and opens my understanding to his will. The Sovereign Lord has spoken to me, and I have listened… Because the Sovereign Lord helps me, I will not be disgraced. Therefore, I have set my face like a stone, determined to do his will. And I know that I will not be put to shame. He who gives me justice is near.” (Isaiah 50:4,5,7,8)
There is more, so much more. I want so desperately to share all that He has provided and promised me lately, but that is my story. That is His relevance to my very individual and specific needs at this time. What He draws me to share with you is the testimony of my experience with Him, and that He so longs to have that same personal relationship with you as well.
God wants to do for you just what He has done for me in the past few days. He wants to surprise you by the significance of the Truth in His Word to your current situation so that you too are drawn to Him for refreshment. “Search the book of the Lord, and see what he will do.” (Isaiah 34:16)
Struggling to fight the mental assault, I realize the importance of “[letting] God transform [me] into a new person by changing the way [I] think.” (Romans 12:2) I recognize the need to “let the Spirit renew [my] thoughts and attitudes.” (Ephesians 4:23) Yet, in my desperation, the same old lies engulf my belief. I cried to Him the other night screaming, “I have head knowledge of the Truth in these verses, but I have no new thoughts. Give me new thoughts. Help me fight!” Then, as I talked with my mother the next day, explaining those moments from the night before with her, I remembered what I had read just that morning. He had answered my desperate plea with these words: “Now I will tell you new things, secrets you have not yet heard. They are brand new, not things from the past… Yes, I will tell you of things that are entirely new, things you never heard of before.” (Isaiah 48:6,7,8) I paused to soak in the very real answer He provided and then read of His promise for rescue. “I have refined you, but not as silver is refined. Rather, I have refined you in the furnace of suffering. I will rescue you for my sake – yes, for my own sake! I will not let my reputation be tarnished…” (Isaiah 8:10-11)
My depression is a matter of belief. Who do I believe? Despite my feelings of the moment, do I believe God? Do I believe His voice to me over the lies that seem to reflect my current state? There is a war going on in my mind. God has asked me to believe Him. I have lived my entire life believing I am who my enemy says I am. God wants to give me new thoughts to replace the belief in this lie, this voice of defeat.
He continues, “‘I have equipped you for battle.’ (Isaiah 45:5) You are not defeated. Fight the enemy’s voice with My Truth. ‘Fear not; you will no longer live in shame. Don’t be afraid; there is no more disgrace for you… For the Lord has called you back from your grief… In that coming day no weapon turned against you will succeed. You will silence every voice raised up to accuse you. These benefits are enjoyed by the servants of the Lord; their vindication will come from me. I, the Lord, have spoken!” (Isaiah 54:4,6,17)
Although I have yet to experience the total healing He promises me, I must proclaim, “How great is the goodness you have stored up for those who fear you. You lavish it on those who come to you for protection, blessing them before the watching world. You hide them in the shelter of your presence, safe from those who conspire against them. You shelter them in your presence, far from accusing tongues.” (Psalm 31:19-20) For, “morning by morning he wakens me and opens my understanding to his will. The Sovereign Lord has spoken to me, and I have listened… Because the Sovereign Lord helps me, I will not be disgraced. Therefore, I have set my face like a stone, determined to do his will. And I know that I will not be put to shame. He who gives me justice is near.” (Isaiah 50:4,5,7,8)
There is more, so much more. I want so desperately to share all that He has provided and promised me lately, but that is my story. That is His relevance to my very individual and specific needs at this time. What He draws me to share with you is the testimony of my experience with Him, and that He so longs to have that same personal relationship with you as well.
God wants to do for you just what He has done for me in the past few days. He wants to surprise you by the significance of the Truth in His Word to your current situation so that you too are drawn to Him for refreshment. “Search the book of the Lord, and see what he will do.” (Isaiah 34:16)
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
The Great God Cycle
I just finished my "God Time" and was listening to my ipod as I began the endless laundry task. How Great Is Our God was playing. A line in that song reminded me of what I had just read in Isaiah. "Sing with me how great is our God, and all will see how great is our God." I had just read, "And why have I called you for this work? Why did I call you by name when you did not know me? It is for the sake of Jacob my servant, Israel my chosen one." (Isaiah 45:4) It occurs to me in this moment that's the point. He's calling us to a life lived for, by and through Him so that others He has chosen may see His greatness in us and proclaim the same through their lives as well.
Monday, June 15, 2009
Marsh Grass
I have had a wild ride through Isaiah these past few days. God has been pouring out His glorious goodness upon the parched ground of my desperate soul. "Then the Lord will bless you with rain... So it will be when the Lord begins to heal his people and cure the wounds he gave them." (Isaiah 30:23,26)
In Isaiah 35, I read again of the mighty rescue God has planned for me. "There the Lord will display his glory, the splendor of our God. With this news, strengthen those who have tired hands, and encourage those who have weak knees. Say to those with fearful hearts, 'Be strong and do not fear, for your God is coming to destroy your enemies. He is coming to save you." (vv. 2-4) For in this place, this new town, this new home, this new church, this place of seemingly endless sadness dragging me down inside, "there the Lord will display his glory... [my] God is coming to save me" and seeks to encourage me by His Word.
As I kept reading, I knew He very well meant "this" place because I read, "Marsh grass and reeds and rushes will flourish where desert jackals once lived... Lions will not lurk along its course." (v. 7, 9) My life's journey has taken me in and out of my own wilderness desert. Jackals have hunted, attacked and feasted on my life. I have lived in fear of the great lion, the devil (1 Peter 5:8), who has literally lurked around every corner waiting to devour me in my depression. But, God promises a different life to me in these verses, a life that flourishes, a life that no longer fears these predators. In this place He has brought our family, we literally cannot turn to the right or to the left without seeing marsh grass, reeds and rushes. I know full well He means for each sight of this beautiful grassy wetland to be a reminder of this incredible promise He has for me.
Then He caps off my moments in this chapter with verse 10. "Sorrow and mourning will disappear, and they will be filled with joy and gladness." Then comes His tender, sweet voice, "Your depression will disappear and you will be filled with joy and gladness. The marsh grass around you is a reminder of my promises to you. I love you, my dear! Believe My promises!"
In Isaiah 35, I read again of the mighty rescue God has planned for me. "There the Lord will display his glory, the splendor of our God. With this news, strengthen those who have tired hands, and encourage those who have weak knees. Say to those with fearful hearts, 'Be strong and do not fear, for your God is coming to destroy your enemies. He is coming to save you." (vv. 2-4) For in this place, this new town, this new home, this new church, this place of seemingly endless sadness dragging me down inside, "there the Lord will display his glory... [my] God is coming to save me" and seeks to encourage me by His Word.
As I kept reading, I knew He very well meant "this" place because I read, "Marsh grass and reeds and rushes will flourish where desert jackals once lived... Lions will not lurk along its course." (v. 7, 9) My life's journey has taken me in and out of my own wilderness desert. Jackals have hunted, attacked and feasted on my life. I have lived in fear of the great lion, the devil (1 Peter 5:8), who has literally lurked around every corner waiting to devour me in my depression. But, God promises a different life to me in these verses, a life that flourishes, a life that no longer fears these predators. In this place He has brought our family, we literally cannot turn to the right or to the left without seeing marsh grass, reeds and rushes. I know full well He means for each sight of this beautiful grassy wetland to be a reminder of this incredible promise He has for me.
Then He caps off my moments in this chapter with verse 10. "Sorrow and mourning will disappear, and they will be filled with joy and gladness." Then comes His tender, sweet voice, "Your depression will disappear and you will be filled with joy and gladness. The marsh grass around you is a reminder of my promises to you. I love you, my dear! Believe My promises!"
Sunday, June 14, 2009
Some May Call Me Crazy
I've been venturing through Isaiah lately. My journey through this book has been highly personal and has kept me from wanting to share in this place. Yet, I remember His voice to me only a few weeks ago in Psalm 107:1-2, "Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good! His faithful love endures forever. Has the Lord redeemed you? Then speak out! Tell others he has redeemed you from your enemies." So, here I am...
The depth of this pilgrimage began in chapter 30. God personalized a few of these verses so that they hit home. "You make plans that are contrary to mine. You make alliances not directed by my Spirit, [believing Satan's lies and not My Truth], thus piling up your sins. For without consulting me you have [sought help, strength, and solace in believing who others think you are]. You have put your trust in [wanting to be this person they think you to be]." Because I have believed the enemy's destructive voice always reminding me I am not good enough, I have put my hope and trust in the front I put forward that gives others the impression I am "normal." The impression that I don't live in fear of what others think of me. The impression that because God and I are tight I have it all together. The impression that my daily time in His Word hearing His voice makes my life something to be envied.
The truth is actually quite different. If others really knew what went on inside my head, then they might consider "God's voice" to be just another voice I hear in my head. That if others really, and I mean really knew me, they might really think me CRAZY and not all Christian. And if others thought this way, then God's purposes for me are void.
It was in this thought process and my struggle with depression where God began to speak to me and seek further transformation. He sought for me to want to be who He was calling me to be more than wanting to be who others thought me to be. I know many that I am close to think of me as "good." Because I have believed for so long that I am not good enough, I found comfort in others believing me to be good enough. But, I had to hide who I really was from them because if they truly understood me deeply, then I would no longer be held in such high esteem. At this realization, He said, "In returning and rest shall ye be saved..." (KJV 30:15) A closer look at the Hebrew speaks volumes. Returning means retirement or withdrawal and rest means rest (of death). While saved means be delivered, be liberated, be victorious. It became clear what He was speaking, "Retirement from your old way of living in unbelief, complete withdrawal from wanting to be what others think of you, dying to this part of you is how I (God) will deliver and liberate you and cause you to be victorious over depression. 'If you try to hang on to your life, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for my sake, you will save it.' (Matthew 16:25)"
My rescue will come as I reveal more of myself to others. It's scary. Will I be accepted? Will I be loved? But, that's just His point. What others think of me should have no bearing. I should strive to please God and God only. I am made in His image and it is good.
The depth of this pilgrimage began in chapter 30. God personalized a few of these verses so that they hit home. "You make plans that are contrary to mine. You make alliances not directed by my Spirit, [believing Satan's lies and not My Truth], thus piling up your sins. For without consulting me you have [sought help, strength, and solace in believing who others think you are]. You have put your trust in [wanting to be this person they think you to be]." Because I have believed the enemy's destructive voice always reminding me I am not good enough, I have put my hope and trust in the front I put forward that gives others the impression I am "normal." The impression that I don't live in fear of what others think of me. The impression that because God and I are tight I have it all together. The impression that my daily time in His Word hearing His voice makes my life something to be envied.
The truth is actually quite different. If others really knew what went on inside my head, then they might consider "God's voice" to be just another voice I hear in my head. That if others really, and I mean really knew me, they might really think me CRAZY and not all Christian. And if others thought this way, then God's purposes for me are void.
It was in this thought process and my struggle with depression where God began to speak to me and seek further transformation. He sought for me to want to be who He was calling me to be more than wanting to be who others thought me to be. I know many that I am close to think of me as "good." Because I have believed for so long that I am not good enough, I found comfort in others believing me to be good enough. But, I had to hide who I really was from them because if they truly understood me deeply, then I would no longer be held in such high esteem. At this realization, He said, "In returning and rest shall ye be saved..." (KJV 30:15) A closer look at the Hebrew speaks volumes. Returning means retirement or withdrawal and rest means rest (of death). While saved means be delivered, be liberated, be victorious. It became clear what He was speaking, "Retirement from your old way of living in unbelief, complete withdrawal from wanting to be what others think of you, dying to this part of you is how I (God) will deliver and liberate you and cause you to be victorious over depression. 'If you try to hang on to your life, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for my sake, you will save it.' (Matthew 16:25)"
My rescue will come as I reveal more of myself to others. It's scary. Will I be accepted? Will I be loved? But, that's just His point. What others think of me should have no bearing. I should strive to please God and God only. I am made in His image and it is good.
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Promise of Life
There are days when I look at my life and wonder if God meant it to be more than this. I lived most of my life believing that God's salvation was my ticket to heaven. So, I lived life doing my best to be a representative of one who would be going to heaven. Heaven was my goal. My living merely pointed out my need for forgiveness.
But, is Heaven the real goal? If so, then why would He leave me here once I believed in Christ? I believe it is for life... Life! About a year ago, I was reading in Matthew and was struck by a verse I had internalize to be something different than what I was reading. Matthew 7:13-14 says, "The highway to hell is broad, and its gate is wide for the many who choose that way. But the gateway to _______ is very narrow and road is difficult and only a few find it." Did you insert what I have for so many years? I've heard this verse often over my lifetime and have internalized that blank to have the word "heaven" in it. But, the word that belongs in this spot is "life." The Greek for the beginning of the verse gives even more insight. "The highway to hell" in Greek is "The road that leads to destruction." Our existence here is not about getting to one of two destinations, Hell or Heaven. Instead God desires for us to gain life. The life He so desperately wants us to choose is pictured in the Greek. "Life real and genuine, a life active and vigorous, devoted to God, blessed, in the portion even in this world of those who put their trust in Christ, but after the resurrection to be consummated by new accessions (among them a more perfect body), and to last for ever."
I have recently been reminded of this promise of life as I read through Isaiah. Chapter 26 verse 3 states, "You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in you, all whose thoughts are fixed on you." As I dissected the Hebrew, I found the words keep and peace to represent You preserving our lives, guarding us from dangers and being our watchman providing safety, welfare, health, prosperity and friendship. This doesn't sounds like a God who just wants us to skip our earthly living and get on up to Heaven.
But, notice the conditions in that verse, You provide this promise for "... all who trust in you, all whose thoughts are fixed on you." In order to experience life described above requires us to fix our thoughts on Him. We must retrain our thought patterns to think of Your ways and Truth. "Don't copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think." (Romans 12:2)
Life is the promise and is meant to be experienced here. Jesus tells us in John 10:10, "My purpose is to give them a rich and satisfying life." The Greek identifies the word life in this verse to be the exact same as the life mentioned in Matthew 7. "Life real and genuine, a life active and vigorous, devoted to God, blessed, in the portion even in this world of those who put their trust in Christ, but after the resurrection to be consummated by new accessions (among them a more perfect body), and to last for ever." Remember though our human thoughts deceive and they must be transformed by God's Truth. "Since you have heard about Jesus and have learned the truth that comes from him, throw off your old sinful nature and your former way of life which is corrupted by... deception. Instead, let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes. Put on you new nature, created to be like God - truly righteous and holy." (Ephesians 4:21-24)
But, is Heaven the real goal? If so, then why would He leave me here once I believed in Christ? I believe it is for life... Life! About a year ago, I was reading in Matthew and was struck by a verse I had internalize to be something different than what I was reading. Matthew 7:13-14 says, "The highway to hell is broad, and its gate is wide for the many who choose that way. But the gateway to _______ is very narrow and road is difficult and only a few find it." Did you insert what I have for so many years? I've heard this verse often over my lifetime and have internalized that blank to have the word "heaven" in it. But, the word that belongs in this spot is "life." The Greek for the beginning of the verse gives even more insight. "The highway to hell" in Greek is "The road that leads to destruction." Our existence here is not about getting to one of two destinations, Hell or Heaven. Instead God desires for us to gain life. The life He so desperately wants us to choose is pictured in the Greek. "Life real and genuine, a life active and vigorous, devoted to God, blessed, in the portion even in this world of those who put their trust in Christ, but after the resurrection to be consummated by new accessions (among them a more perfect body), and to last for ever."
I have recently been reminded of this promise of life as I read through Isaiah. Chapter 26 verse 3 states, "You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in you, all whose thoughts are fixed on you." As I dissected the Hebrew, I found the words keep and peace to represent You preserving our lives, guarding us from dangers and being our watchman providing safety, welfare, health, prosperity and friendship. This doesn't sounds like a God who just wants us to skip our earthly living and get on up to Heaven.
But, notice the conditions in that verse, You provide this promise for "... all who trust in you, all whose thoughts are fixed on you." In order to experience life described above requires us to fix our thoughts on Him. We must retrain our thought patterns to think of Your ways and Truth. "Don't copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think." (Romans 12:2)
Life is the promise and is meant to be experienced here. Jesus tells us in John 10:10, "My purpose is to give them a rich and satisfying life." The Greek identifies the word life in this verse to be the exact same as the life mentioned in Matthew 7. "Life real and genuine, a life active and vigorous, devoted to God, blessed, in the portion even in this world of those who put their trust in Christ, but after the resurrection to be consummated by new accessions (among them a more perfect body), and to last for ever." Remember though our human thoughts deceive and they must be transformed by God's Truth. "Since you have heard about Jesus and have learned the truth that comes from him, throw off your old sinful nature and your former way of life which is corrupted by... deception. Instead, let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes. Put on you new nature, created to be like God - truly righteous and holy." (Ephesians 4:21-24)
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