As I begin, butterflies swirl around inside (or is that the little life within my womb endlessly tossing and turning). Regardless,I wonder if I can still do this thing called blogging. I am a bundle of nerves hoping I can make sense in the words that make it to the page. Bear with me...
I have been traveling through 1 & 2 Samuel the past few weeks, maybe even months. It is not a new place for me to be, but something new brews within as I read and relate to life. Life... my life as been met head on with the heartache of death. A 13 year battle with cancer in a cousin and the unforeseen death of a 5 year old have left me wondering, "Why life?"
At the funerals, comfort seemed to take on the message: "They are with God now. They are in heaven." But, I wonder, as awesome as it that these two precious people now sit in the very presence of God, why were they given life. Thirteen years fighting for life and five years living as though only the now mattered cause me to question whether I might have believed wrongly for many years. Is heaven really the goal? Are we put here to die and go to heaven? Or, should the question be more appropriately worded, is our time on earth a chance to live and go to heaven?
God has a desire for us to know Him. So why does God leave us here to live for 13 more years after we receive our death sentence? Why give a child life for only a short time? I hear Him gently respond, "It is in the living, the fighting, the struggles, the now that you learn to know Me and are given opportunity to see Me, not the dying."
I've been reading about warrior David's fighting and battles in the books of Samuel. David's fighting and daily living (interaction with family and friends) were not about revenge or trying to establish himself as king. God had promised David he would be king over God's people Israel, but David left that victory in God's hands. His actions (i.e. fighting battles, marrying, having children, creating allies, etc.) were an act of faith that God would do what He said He would do. They are a testimony of his faith. He literally lived Paul's words to Timothy, "Fight the good fight of faith." (1 Timothy 6:12)
We must be like David and my cousin and that sweet child, trusting that God is. But, we need not sit around twiddling our thumbs. We must trust God with our living, our actions, believing with all we do that God will take ultimate victory. "... faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead." (James 2:17)
Life... yes, life! God's goal in giving us life is not that we get to heaven. His goal is not achieved in our dying rather our living. His goal is that we use the LIFE He gives us to demonstrate our faith that He has and will do what He says He will do and take the victory. May it be said of us all just as Paul knew it of himself, "I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith." (2 Timothy 4:7)
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Friday, November 6, 2009
Scare Tactics
This past week my husband and I were face to face with a defining choice. We were being confronted with scary information meant to sway our choice heavily in one direction. As silly as it sounds, God showed me His will for our choosing.
After feelings of discomfort, I went to an unbiased source for a little research on the matter at hand. I noticed that what was originally being presented to us as fact is really only a hypothesis with very little scientific backing proving its claims. Then I heard His sweet voice remind me of Isaiah 8:11-14, "The Lord spoke to me with his strong hand upon me, warning me not to follow the way of this people. He said: 'Do not call conspiracy everything that these people call conspiracy; do not fear what they fear, and do not dread it. The Lord Almighty is the one you are to fear, he is the one you are to dread, and he will be a sanctuary;..."
As if this were not enough confirmation, He continued to speak this same truth in my current walk through Colossians. "See to it that no one takes you captive through hollow and deceptive philosophy, which depends on human tradition and the basic principles of this world rather than on Christ... Do not let anyone judge you by what you eat or drink, or with regard to a religious festival, a New Moon celebration or a Sabbath day. These are a shadow of the things that were to come, the reality, however, is found in Christ... Since you died with Christ to the basic principles of this world, why, as though you still belonged to it, do you submit to its rules: 'Do not handle! Do not taste! Do not touch!'? These are all destined to perish with use, because they are based on human commands and teachings. Such regulations indeed have an appearance of wisdom, with their self-imposed worship, their false humility and their harsh treatment of the body, but they lack any value in restraining sensual indulgence." (2:8, 16-17, 20-23)
In today's world, scary sells. Bad grabs our attention. Do not take things as truth just because they seem to make sense with mere human wisdom. Seek God's will and ask Him to show you what to believe. Do not live this day in fear! Fear only God, and He will be your sanctuary.
After feelings of discomfort, I went to an unbiased source for a little research on the matter at hand. I noticed that what was originally being presented to us as fact is really only a hypothesis with very little scientific backing proving its claims. Then I heard His sweet voice remind me of Isaiah 8:11-14, "The Lord spoke to me with his strong hand upon me, warning me not to follow the way of this people. He said: 'Do not call conspiracy everything that these people call conspiracy; do not fear what they fear, and do not dread it. The Lord Almighty is the one you are to fear, he is the one you are to dread, and he will be a sanctuary;..."
As if this were not enough confirmation, He continued to speak this same truth in my current walk through Colossians. "See to it that no one takes you captive through hollow and deceptive philosophy, which depends on human tradition and the basic principles of this world rather than on Christ... Do not let anyone judge you by what you eat or drink, or with regard to a religious festival, a New Moon celebration or a Sabbath day. These are a shadow of the things that were to come, the reality, however, is found in Christ... Since you died with Christ to the basic principles of this world, why, as though you still belonged to it, do you submit to its rules: 'Do not handle! Do not taste! Do not touch!'? These are all destined to perish with use, because they are based on human commands and teachings. Such regulations indeed have an appearance of wisdom, with their self-imposed worship, their false humility and their harsh treatment of the body, but they lack any value in restraining sensual indulgence." (2:8, 16-17, 20-23)
In today's world, scary sells. Bad grabs our attention. Do not take things as truth just because they seem to make sense with mere human wisdom. Seek God's will and ask Him to show you what to believe. Do not live this day in fear! Fear only God, and He will be your sanctuary.
Calgon Take Me Away
Recently I have felt the need for rejuvenation and renewal more frequently than normal. Yes, I've taken on homeschooling our kindergartener, but I've also been stricken with an overwhelming sense of compassion for the poor, elderly and indigent in the town where I currently reside. This new sense of responsibility has translated into poorly marking my boundaries out of a sense of guilt or obligation. A five year-old demanding my undivided attention up until his eyes close for the night and two elderly women wanting friendship, needing medication to be picked up, and requiring groceries have depleted my spirit of its vigor.
So today I sit delving into the Word at Panera Bread with a Starbucks decaf White Chocolate Mocha in hand, no five year-old and no needy elderly women pulling at my heartstrings. I am able to hear my Jesus ask me, "What do you want me to do for you?" (Matthew 20:32) I reply just as the blind men saying, "Lord... [I] want [my] sight." (Matthew 20:33) I want to see my Jesus today.
And, as if I expected Him not to respond, I continue in Colossians where I last left off reading, "... you have taken off your old self with its practices and have put on the new self which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator." (3:9-10) I hear His sweet, gentle voice saying, "You have chosen to come to Me for renewal today. True, deep, soul healing renewal comes as you spend time getting to know Me."
"My dear, I have given you a new self... 'you have taken off your old self... and put on the new self'... 'cloth[ing] yourself with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.' (3:9-10, 12) You have allowed me to tailor these new garments for you, but don't lose sight of ALL that I've called you to. 'See to it that you complete the work you have received in the Lord.' (4:17) Don't forget about the things I called you to first: to write and speak. Yes, compassion, humility, kindness, etc. are your new clothes, but they are nothing if you are constantly standing at the mirror admiring them. I want you to share the gift of this wardrobe with others through writing and speaking so that they may be spurred on to good works in My Name. Staying focused on writing and sharing will also give you time to be renewed as you spend time with Me getting to know my heart better and better.
"This is not a selfish focus. 'The poor you will always have with you, and you can help them any time you want. But you will not always have me.' (Mark 14:7) You will be of no service to these "poor" if you continue running on fumes. Remember, '...proclaim [Me], admonishing and teaching everyone with all wisdom, so that you may present everyone perfect in Christ. To this end [you] labor, struggling with all [My] energy, which so powerfully works in [you].' (Colossians 1:28-29)"
Are you too in need of a way to temporarily escape all that pulls at you in order to be renewed and rejuvenated? You may find Calgon's bubbles, Panera's broccolli cheddar soup, Starbucks' mocha, or something totally different your little sliver of God's glory this side of eternity. Share it with Him desiring to see Him revealed in the intimate details of your personal circumstances getting to know His heart better and better. He desires to be known by you.
So today I sit delving into the Word at Panera Bread with a Starbucks decaf White Chocolate Mocha in hand, no five year-old and no needy elderly women pulling at my heartstrings. I am able to hear my Jesus ask me, "What do you want me to do for you?" (Matthew 20:32) I reply just as the blind men saying, "Lord... [I] want [my] sight." (Matthew 20:33) I want to see my Jesus today.
And, as if I expected Him not to respond, I continue in Colossians where I last left off reading, "... you have taken off your old self with its practices and have put on the new self which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator." (3:9-10) I hear His sweet, gentle voice saying, "You have chosen to come to Me for renewal today. True, deep, soul healing renewal comes as you spend time getting to know Me."
"My dear, I have given you a new self... 'you have taken off your old self... and put on the new self'... 'cloth[ing] yourself with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.' (3:9-10, 12) You have allowed me to tailor these new garments for you, but don't lose sight of ALL that I've called you to. 'See to it that you complete the work you have received in the Lord.' (4:17) Don't forget about the things I called you to first: to write and speak. Yes, compassion, humility, kindness, etc. are your new clothes, but they are nothing if you are constantly standing at the mirror admiring them. I want you to share the gift of this wardrobe with others through writing and speaking so that they may be spurred on to good works in My Name. Staying focused on writing and sharing will also give you time to be renewed as you spend time with Me getting to know my heart better and better.
"This is not a selfish focus. 'The poor you will always have with you, and you can help them any time you want. But you will not always have me.' (Mark 14:7) You will be of no service to these "poor" if you continue running on fumes. Remember, '...proclaim [Me], admonishing and teaching everyone with all wisdom, so that you may present everyone perfect in Christ. To this end [you] labor, struggling with all [My] energy, which so powerfully works in [you].' (Colossians 1:28-29)"
Are you too in need of a way to temporarily escape all that pulls at you in order to be renewed and rejuvenated? You may find Calgon's bubbles, Panera's broccolli cheddar soup, Starbucks' mocha, or something totally different your little sliver of God's glory this side of eternity. Share it with Him desiring to see Him revealed in the intimate details of your personal circumstances getting to know His heart better and better. He desires to be known by you.
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
A Love Story
"But 'God made them male and female' from the beginning of creation. 'This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.' Since they are no longer two but one, let no one split apart what God has joined together." (Mark 10:6-9)
I recently watched the movie Seven Pounds which really got me thinking deeply. God used that deep place of introspection coincidentally with the thoughts from my last discussion with our home group on the Rich Young Ruler. After contemplating the question, "What keeps ME from following Jesus?", I realized an embedded fear of pain.
Just like the rich, young ruler who felt it painful to give up all his wealth and possessions to follow Jesus, I find it painful to give all of myself in wreckless abandonment to those I love most, especially my husband. I can let him watch the intimate details of my life unfold, but to be immersed in life with him, allowing comfort and love to be exchanged means pain in the end. For to love someone deeply, without regard for any pain that may have to be endured, because you have given all of yourself is kamakazi-like.
This fear of pain keeps my man at arms length, a mere spectator. The what-ifs swirl through my mind encouraging me to take some control. Pain from rejection; pain from loss; pain from an overwhelming sense of compassion; pain from a broken heart. This is where it is difficult for me to follow Jesus: Giving all of me to loving my man without regard for any pain that will be endured, and allowing myself to be loved deeply by him. But I am reminded in 2 Timothy, "For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love and self-discipline." (1:7)
Trusting God to be sufficient in any pain and not my own relational walls to avoid the pain is the stuff of faith. "Abraham believed God and God counted him as righteous because of his faith... It is through faith that a righteous person has life." (Galatians 3:6, 11) I want to experience this life!
I recently watched the movie Seven Pounds which really got me thinking deeply. God used that deep place of introspection coincidentally with the thoughts from my last discussion with our home group on the Rich Young Ruler. After contemplating the question, "What keeps ME from following Jesus?", I realized an embedded fear of pain.
Just like the rich, young ruler who felt it painful to give up all his wealth and possessions to follow Jesus, I find it painful to give all of myself in wreckless abandonment to those I love most, especially my husband. I can let him watch the intimate details of my life unfold, but to be immersed in life with him, allowing comfort and love to be exchanged means pain in the end. For to love someone deeply, without regard for any pain that may have to be endured, because you have given all of yourself is kamakazi-like.
This fear of pain keeps my man at arms length, a mere spectator. The what-ifs swirl through my mind encouraging me to take some control. Pain from rejection; pain from loss; pain from an overwhelming sense of compassion; pain from a broken heart. This is where it is difficult for me to follow Jesus: Giving all of me to loving my man without regard for any pain that will be endured, and allowing myself to be loved deeply by him. But I am reminded in 2 Timothy, "For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love and self-discipline." (1:7)
Trusting God to be sufficient in any pain and not my own relational walls to avoid the pain is the stuff of faith. "Abraham believed God and God counted him as righteous because of his faith... It is through faith that a righteous person has life." (Galatians 3:6, 11) I want to experience this life!
The Realization of Rescue
A deep since of compassion is a fresh wound aching in my soul. Longing to put this pain to use for God's Kingdom, I type here organizing my thoughts to be prepared to share when given an open door.
Realizing God's rescue from the dark pit of despair that engulfed me this summer, my heart breaks when dear friends are almost swallowed up by the same enemy. I know intimately the reality of demons seeking to strangle the literal life out of someone. In the face of such horror observed in others, I am utterly humbled into a crying heap on the floor at the realization of God's blessing of rescue. In the midst, I wanted never to return to such a dark place. But, experiencing the reality of my own liberation causes me in desparation to long for others' salvation so much that I would take on their despair because I know now that I can make it through because I have God.
For His precious words to me from Isaiah were the hope that I clung to believing His promise for fulfillment. "'You have been chosen to know me, believe in me, and understand that I alone am God. There is no other God - there never has been, and there never will be. I, yes I, am the Lord, and there is no other Savior. First, I predicted your rescue, then I saved you... You are witnesses that I am the only God,' says the Lord." (43:10-12)
And now with His gift of compassion "I feel as if I'm going through labor pains for [the hurting and lost], and they will continue until Christ is fully developed in [their] lives." (Galatians 4:19) May this gift be for nothing. Hear my cries, Lord!
Realizing God's rescue from the dark pit of despair that engulfed me this summer, my heart breaks when dear friends are almost swallowed up by the same enemy. I know intimately the reality of demons seeking to strangle the literal life out of someone. In the face of such horror observed in others, I am utterly humbled into a crying heap on the floor at the realization of God's blessing of rescue. In the midst, I wanted never to return to such a dark place. But, experiencing the reality of my own liberation causes me in desparation to long for others' salvation so much that I would take on their despair because I know now that I can make it through because I have God.
For His precious words to me from Isaiah were the hope that I clung to believing His promise for fulfillment. "'You have been chosen to know me, believe in me, and understand that I alone am God. There is no other God - there never has been, and there never will be. I, yes I, am the Lord, and there is no other Savior. First, I predicted your rescue, then I saved you... You are witnesses that I am the only God,' says the Lord." (43:10-12)
And now with His gift of compassion "I feel as if I'm going through labor pains for [the hurting and lost], and they will continue until Christ is fully developed in [their] lives." (Galatians 4:19) May this gift be for nothing. Hear my cries, Lord!
Monday, September 21, 2009
Sweet Mercy
These thoughts are a compilation of several journal entries. They were resurrected in me by a couple of songs from church. The first song had the line, "... lay it at your feet..." Then and there You told me to lay not just my wants and desires, my hopes and dreams, but also my burdens at Your feet. Right then I envisioned laying a huge personal burden that had been acquired through my own bad choices at your feet.
You spoke tenderly to my heart at that moment and told me You would take it away. I was overcome by Your goodness to me later that night as we sang "Sweet Mercies." Tears poured forth and I could not sing for feelings of humility. Who am I to ask the God of everything to pour out His mercy on me? What have I done to deserve even such a position to approach Him and ask? I am but a wretched sinner, yet He calls to my soul drawing me unto Him into relationship.
Even in my pure humbleness, you still poured forth Your goodness and mercy while my husband and I prayed about this heaviness we've been hauling around. You called to my remembrance the following Scriptures and wrapped Your loving arms around me with their very words. "My child, I want to continue to pour out my rich blessings on you. You haven't seen anything yet! 'No eye has seen, no ear has heard, and no mind has imagined what God has prepared for those who love him.' (1 Corinthians 2:9)... 'How great is the goodness you have stored up for those who fear you. You lavish it on those who come to you for protection blessing them before the watching world.' (Psalm 31:19) So, my dear, 'Give your burdens to the Lord and He will take care of you. He will not permit the godly to slip and fall.' (Psalm 55:22)
You spoke tenderly to my heart at that moment and told me You would take it away. I was overcome by Your goodness to me later that night as we sang "Sweet Mercies." Tears poured forth and I could not sing for feelings of humility. Who am I to ask the God of everything to pour out His mercy on me? What have I done to deserve even such a position to approach Him and ask? I am but a wretched sinner, yet He calls to my soul drawing me unto Him into relationship.
Even in my pure humbleness, you still poured forth Your goodness and mercy while my husband and I prayed about this heaviness we've been hauling around. You called to my remembrance the following Scriptures and wrapped Your loving arms around me with their very words. "My child, I want to continue to pour out my rich blessings on you. You haven't seen anything yet! 'No eye has seen, no ear has heard, and no mind has imagined what God has prepared for those who love him.' (1 Corinthians 2:9)... 'How great is the goodness you have stored up for those who fear you. You lavish it on those who come to you for protection blessing them before the watching world.' (Psalm 31:19) So, my dear, 'Give your burdens to the Lord and He will take care of you. He will not permit the godly to slip and fall.' (Psalm 55:22)
Foolishness
I'm finding that following Christ isn't what I thought it to be. Many times in recent days my choices have come under scrutiny by others. We've all been there. Remember those teenage years... Will Smith sang it best, "Parents just don't understand." But, I find it a little more difficult to live in decisions when face to face with others, not just parents, who "just don't understand."
If only my attitude might begin to look more like Paul's. "As for me, it matters very little how I might be evaluated by you or by any human authority. I don't even trust my own judgement at this point. My conscience is clear, but that doesn't prove I'm right. It is the Lord himself who will examine me and decide. So don't make judgements about anyone ahead of time..." (1 Corinthians 4:3-5) Sometimes God's call on our little lives is going to look strange to everyone. It should! After all God is not bound by this world. If he calls us to stand up and out, will we?
As I see this play out in my life, God is teaching me about my tendency to judge others and their choices. Paul continues in 1 Corinthians 4 with words that pierce my own pride, "For what gives you the right to make such a judgement?" (v. 7) Everyone has their own Spiritual relationship. Their choices are between them and God. Silly or normal I must not judge someone based on the choices they make.
Paul reminds me, through his example, that to follow Christ will most often be the opposite of how the world is telling us to live. "We have become a spectacle to the entire world... Our dedication to Christ makes us look like fools, but you claim to be so wise in Christ! We are weak, but you are so powerful! You are honored, but we are ridiculed." He continues, "For the kingdom of God is not just a lot of talk; it is living by God's power. Which do you choose?" (1 Corinthians 4:9-10, 20-21)
If only my attitude might begin to look more like Paul's. "As for me, it matters very little how I might be evaluated by you or by any human authority. I don't even trust my own judgement at this point. My conscience is clear, but that doesn't prove I'm right. It is the Lord himself who will examine me and decide. So don't make judgements about anyone ahead of time..." (1 Corinthians 4:3-5) Sometimes God's call on our little lives is going to look strange to everyone. It should! After all God is not bound by this world. If he calls us to stand up and out, will we?
As I see this play out in my life, God is teaching me about my tendency to judge others and their choices. Paul continues in 1 Corinthians 4 with words that pierce my own pride, "For what gives you the right to make such a judgement?" (v. 7) Everyone has their own Spiritual relationship. Their choices are between them and God. Silly or normal I must not judge someone based on the choices they make.
Paul reminds me, through his example, that to follow Christ will most often be the opposite of how the world is telling us to live. "We have become a spectacle to the entire world... Our dedication to Christ makes us look like fools, but you claim to be so wise in Christ! We are weak, but you are so powerful! You are honored, but we are ridiculed." He continues, "For the kingdom of God is not just a lot of talk; it is living by God's power. Which do you choose?" (1 Corinthians 4:9-10, 20-21)
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