I've recently been struggling to keep my spirits out of the dump. That's no explanation as to my absence here because I've had several things I've wanted to post. But, when I find myself in this place of BLAH, I am unmotivated to even do the things I love.
My negative emotional state has caused me to examine and re-examine just who I'm believing. Have you ever been told not to pray for patience? My most recent Bible study, Believing God by Beth Moore, has had similar repercussions. Beth challenges the student to believe 1) God is who He says He is. 2) God can do what He says He can do. 3) I am who God says I am. 4) I can do all things through Christ. 5) God's word is alive and active in me. Let me just say that after 3 weeks, God is still working in me to get me to believe with everything I am that He truly is who He says He is and He can do what He says He can do.
When I began my first week of homework, I prayed, "I want to learn from this study, but it just seems like wrote learning. Make it mean something. Grow it inside me and use it to transform me." And did He ever answer! Just like a prayer for patience, He's begun to test me. Testing to see just what do I believe. Here I am in a place where I typically struggle to hear God's voice over the shouts of the enemy. A place where my feelings are the opposite of His Truth to me. A place reminescent of defeat. A place I call depression.
I continue to seek God and repeat His Word to myself in this time, in this place, but it is difficult to really believe. Verses that stuck in my head seemed to be speaking the opposite of what I was experiencing. Part of me could identify with Abraham who "at about 100 years of age... figured his body was as good as dead - and so was Sarah's womb" yet, God had told him, "I will make you the father of many nations." (Romans 4:19, 17) It was the same for me. My current life circumstances were quite contrary to His Truth. I read in Hosea 6: 1-3, "Come let us return to the Lord. He has torn us to pieces, now he will heal us. He has injured us; now he will bandage our wounds. In just a short time he will restore us, so that we may live in his presence. Oh that we might know the Lord! Let us press on to know him. He will respond to us as surely as the arrival of dawn or the coming of rains in early spring." After reading this passage, as I was readying myself one morning, I heard Him say, "I will heal you! Do you believe that I can?" I wanted to believe He was going to heal me of this depression, that He meant it to be a permanent healing, but thought more practically and reasoned that my feelings, opposite of this Truth, were much more believable.
I continued to combat this yuckiness while God continued asking, "Do you believe that I can heal you?" I wanted to believe He could, but the bondage depression kept my mind and emotional state in seemed much more real.
Continuing to participate in the only thing that I knew could save me from myself, I stayed in the Word. I began Romans and came to chapter 4 verse 17, "...Abraham believed in the God who brings the dead back to life..." I was trudging through merely practicing ritual, but knew something about this verse hit deep within me. I sensed God was asking me to believe that if He could bring the dead back to life He could therefore easily heal me of this depression. Well, I believe He can raise the dead. Just look at Jesus... and even Lazarus, and numerous other people throughout the Bible. So, what was He getting at?
Carrying around this unfinished work of His inside me for days, I muddled through. Easter Sunday arrived and I spent the sunrise with Him, alone. I read in Romans 4 again and noticed verse 18, "For God had said to him..." Abraham did not have the Scriptures to consult to confirm his belief. He was experiencing (his old age) the opposite of what God was promising, yet he believed because God had said it to him. God had told me that He would heal me of this yucky state and I prayed, "Oh how I want to believe just because you speak it to me. 'I do believe, but help me overcome my unbelief.' (Mark 9:24) I want faith like Abraham..."
At church that same Easter day, we sang a revved up version of Jesus Paid It All by Kristian Stanfill. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=onxhvivQYfI) I was just going with the flow singing an old hymn I hadn't sung in a while when the band kicked it up a notch and the words sounded similar to Romans 4:17. We sang, "Oh praise the One who paid my debt and raised this life up from the dead." I began to sob uncontrollably because it was then I heard what He was trying to say. "Cara, I have given you 'new life in Christ.' But, this all sticks with you because I raise the dead, literally. I raised you from the dead that lonesome night so long ago. It was my power alone that raised your dead life that night. Believe me! Believe my words to you! Believe my power to do what I promise! 'Be fully persuaded that what [I] promise, [I] am able also to perform. (Romans 4:21 KJV)... Believe me!"
You see, at the age of 13 or 14, I spent a dreary night in what seemed like an endless depressive state and took every Tylenol, Nuprin, Motrin in our house until I gagged because I could swallow no more. I went to bed telling no one. Because of newly discovered facts due to a family member's recent suicide attempt, I now know that medically, I should have died from liver and other organ failure. But, instead He rid me of everything I had taken. He was the only One who knew and He saved me from dying that lonely night.
You see, I saw my survival as yet another thing I was not good enough at. I couldn't even kill myself. I lived after that attempt believing that my body simply rejected all I had ingested just as my dog's body does when she eats too many socks. I did not realize He performed a miracle in my life until April 12, 2009.
Healing of my depression did not occur in the miraculous revelation of that moment, but do I know He will do it? Listen to Him tell you, "Now Cara, share this! 'Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good. His faithful love endures forever. Has the Lord redeemed you? Then speak out! Tell others he has redeemed you from your enemies.' (Psalm 107:1-2) Now this depressive state will no longer have it's hold on you. Now confess this unbelief to others... 'Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.' (James 5:16)"
Believe Him? You bet I do! Know that He has given me grace to share because we have argued over Him telling me to write this for a few weeks. But, sharing my weaknesses, faults, trials, mistakes, sins, is what will bring me healing. Obedience to His voice and believing Him is a life lived in freedom and abundance.
The miraculous has not been wasted on me!! His purposes for denying my cries that night are far greater than I could have ever imagined. Glory to His name! Amen and Amen!
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Mercy
Do you have people in your life that hurt and disappoint you? Have you ever been angry because someone has hurt you by making a decision without any regard for others? I'm there!! What to do with all that swirls within as a result... so I went to God, the only place I could be totally honest and at the same time expect the Truth in return.
In my anger, literal screaming in my head, He asked me, "Where is your hope? Who do you look to with expectation, for fulfillment or satisfaction?" After years of miraculous transformation in me by Him, I could answer, "You. You are enough. You are all... 'And so, Lord, where do I put my hope? My only hope is in you.' (Psalm 39:7) But, now what, God? What do I do with the pain, heartache, hurt?"
God's sweet reply was, "If Christianity's purpose is for Me to reconcile the world back to Me through those whom I choose to express my glory and mercy through, then can I not use you in this situation?" What?! MERCY!! You want me to extend mercy to this person? But, they don't deserve it! To which He says, "Neither do you, my dear."
As our conversation lulled, I began remembering some verses in Romans 9 that had been, when first read, confusing. "God chooses to show mercy to some, and he chooses to harden the hearts of others so they refuse to listen... He does this to make the riches of his glory shine even brighter on those to whom he shows mercy, who were prepared in advance for glory." (vv. 18,23) He then clarified, "Yes, my dear, I have hardened this person's heart so that my glory can shine even brighter through you whom I have chosen. When you allow the power of the Spirit control in this situation and show mercy, My glory will shine even brighter in you. You will magnify my glory to others because it will not be you doing the work. It will be Me in You working. You cannot show mercy apart from Me. Others will see Me because they will know you alone cannot be reacting with mercy in this situation."
In my desire for deeper understanding, I read the KJV of these two verses and searched the dictionary for the meaning of mercy. I found that the KJV translated "those to whom he shows mercy" into "vessels of mercy." So, it is not that I am better, I have just been chosen as a vessel for carrying His mercy to others. Well, just what does this churchy word, mercy, mean? Webster's Dictionary says, "A compassion or forbearance (refraining from the enforcement of something) shown especially to an offender. A blessing that is an act of divine favor. Mercy implies compassion that forbears punishing even when justice demands it." Wow!! I have been offened and yet God has chosen me as His vessel for refraining from punishing this person. Instead, God wants to shower a blessing of Divine favor on them through me.
But, I don't want to... How can I do this?
"And so dear brothers and sisters, I plead with you to give you bodies to God because of all he has done for you. Let them be a living and holy sacrifice - the kind he will find acceptable. This is truly the way to worship him." (Romans 12:1) I must sacrifice what my flesh desires in this situation - punishing this person for hurting and disappointing me. My living, my actions to this person, should be a sacrifice of what I really want to do.
"Don't copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think." Isn't this at the heart of my hurt and anger? O, Lord, that I may become a new person more like your Son. Continue to alter my thinking. May I become a willing vessel of Your mercy. Through surrending to Your power at work within, produce in me the characteristics of the fruit of Your Spirit, "love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control." (Galatians 5:22)
Thank you for this circumstance. Although painful, you have used it to grow me. As my momma used to say, "Those are just growing pains." When the pains from growth disappear, we are forever changed. I am forever grateful You did not allow me to waver in bitterness for long. You used this willing heart to render glory to Your name. "For everything comes from him and exists by his power and is intended for his glory." (Romans 11:36)
In my anger, literal screaming in my head, He asked me, "Where is your hope? Who do you look to with expectation, for fulfillment or satisfaction?" After years of miraculous transformation in me by Him, I could answer, "You. You are enough. You are all... 'And so, Lord, where do I put my hope? My only hope is in you.' (Psalm 39:7) But, now what, God? What do I do with the pain, heartache, hurt?"
God's sweet reply was, "If Christianity's purpose is for Me to reconcile the world back to Me through those whom I choose to express my glory and mercy through, then can I not use you in this situation?" What?! MERCY!! You want me to extend mercy to this person? But, they don't deserve it! To which He says, "Neither do you, my dear."
As our conversation lulled, I began remembering some verses in Romans 9 that had been, when first read, confusing. "God chooses to show mercy to some, and he chooses to harden the hearts of others so they refuse to listen... He does this to make the riches of his glory shine even brighter on those to whom he shows mercy, who were prepared in advance for glory." (vv. 18,23) He then clarified, "Yes, my dear, I have hardened this person's heart so that my glory can shine even brighter through you whom I have chosen. When you allow the power of the Spirit control in this situation and show mercy, My glory will shine even brighter in you. You will magnify my glory to others because it will not be you doing the work. It will be Me in You working. You cannot show mercy apart from Me. Others will see Me because they will know you alone cannot be reacting with mercy in this situation."
In my desire for deeper understanding, I read the KJV of these two verses and searched the dictionary for the meaning of mercy. I found that the KJV translated "those to whom he shows mercy" into "vessels of mercy." So, it is not that I am better, I have just been chosen as a vessel for carrying His mercy to others. Well, just what does this churchy word, mercy, mean? Webster's Dictionary says, "A compassion or forbearance (refraining from the enforcement of something) shown especially to an offender. A blessing that is an act of divine favor. Mercy implies compassion that forbears punishing even when justice demands it." Wow!! I have been offened and yet God has chosen me as His vessel for refraining from punishing this person. Instead, God wants to shower a blessing of Divine favor on them through me.
But, I don't want to... How can I do this?
"And so dear brothers and sisters, I plead with you to give you bodies to God because of all he has done for you. Let them be a living and holy sacrifice - the kind he will find acceptable. This is truly the way to worship him." (Romans 12:1) I must sacrifice what my flesh desires in this situation - punishing this person for hurting and disappointing me. My living, my actions to this person, should be a sacrifice of what I really want to do.
"Don't copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think." Isn't this at the heart of my hurt and anger? O, Lord, that I may become a new person more like your Son. Continue to alter my thinking. May I become a willing vessel of Your mercy. Through surrending to Your power at work within, produce in me the characteristics of the fruit of Your Spirit, "love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control." (Galatians 5:22)
Thank you for this circumstance. Although painful, you have used it to grow me. As my momma used to say, "Those are just growing pains." When the pains from growth disappear, we are forever changed. I am forever grateful You did not allow me to waver in bitterness for long. You used this willing heart to render glory to Your name. "For everything comes from him and exists by his power and is intended for his glory." (Romans 11:36)
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Celebrate Rest
I love to know God, to feel Him boldly at work within me. I crave his powerful presence moving me, changing me, growing me. Yet, it will not always be so. I have reached this place recently. In the beginning of my intimate journey with God, my mind perceived He was silent during these times. Though, as I came down from my most recent mountain, I knew from a deep place within that this was different. I found the need to remind myself of His presence even though I didn’t feel it. “I know the Lord is always with me. I will not be shaken, for he is right beside me. No wonder my heart is glad, and I rejoice. My body rests in safety…You will show me the way of life, granting me the joy of your presence and the pleasures of living with you forever.” (Psalm 16:8,9,11) I needed to believe Him, trust Him, rest in my faith. I believe the truth of these verses and would often repeat them out loud to Him (Psalm 116: 10) helping to put my confidence in the reality of His Word.
The more I believed Psalm 16:8,9, & 11, the more I sensed Him wanting to teach me in this place as well. I firmly believe God calls us to praise Him for an outcome that is yet to be out of pure belief that He WILL bring it to be. Although I was not overwhelmed by His current presence, I was being drawn to celebrate Him in me. I lived my days continuing to believe our relationship was good. It was not that God was silent at this time, just quiet, reserved, comfortable. I prayed, “Teach me to relish in the resting of these moments…”
At the moment of that prayer, I was reminded of the end of Esther. The Jews in Susa celebrated a day of rest from their enemies. God had been bold to save them from sudden death, and they celebrated the rest He gave them. I remembered all the recent instances where God was showing me all the many blessings He had poured out on me in this recent move. I was a far cry from my arrival here just over a year ago. Although life here began much like Paul’s description in 2 Corinthians 7:5 “When we arrived in Macedonia, there was no rest for us. We faced conflict from every direction, with battles on the outside and fear on the inside.” Life now was lived in the joy and fulfillment of verse 6, “But God, who encourages those who are discouraged, encouraged us…” In awe of His favor, I felt the need to celebrate it all. At the same time, I was overcome by a sense that He had brought me to a place of rest. It was the same for me as for the Jews in Susa. God had rescued me from a life lived in defeat and mediocrity (spiritual death), poured out His abundant goodness on me, and I was drawn to celebrate His provision of rest.
Remembering a verse from Hebrews, I went to read it. “So we see that because of their unbelief they were not able to enter his rest.” (3:19) My rest had come because I refused to harbor unbelief. I rejected the lies of my enemy that God had abandoned me in this recent stillness and instead believed the Truth written in Psalm 16: 8, 9 & 11. “For only we who believe can enter his rest.” (Hebrews 4:3)
What are we to believe? The Truth found in His Word. In the words of the band Casting Crowns, “I can’t live by what I feel, but by the truth Your Word reveals.” Even though I could not feel His bold presence, I believed the Truth that “he [was] right beside me.” There is a precious hymn I remember singing as a child that says it best, “Standing on the promises that cannot fail, when the howling storms of doubt and fear assail, by the living Word of God I shall prevail, standing on the promises of God. Standing, standing, standing on the promises of Christ my Savior; standing, standing, I'm standing on the promises of God.” (verse 2 from Standing on the Promises)
Live believing… so that others may see Christ and also find rest in Him. “Now he uses us to spread the knowledge of Christ everywhere, like a sweet perfume. Our lives are a Christ-like fragrance rising up to God.” (2 Corinthians 2:14-15) He desires my living to celebrate this rest and leave behind a fragrance as sweet as Christ’s sacrifice.
The more I believed Psalm 16:8,9, & 11, the more I sensed Him wanting to teach me in this place as well. I firmly believe God calls us to praise Him for an outcome that is yet to be out of pure belief that He WILL bring it to be. Although I was not overwhelmed by His current presence, I was being drawn to celebrate Him in me. I lived my days continuing to believe our relationship was good. It was not that God was silent at this time, just quiet, reserved, comfortable. I prayed, “Teach me to relish in the resting of these moments…”
At the moment of that prayer, I was reminded of the end of Esther. The Jews in Susa celebrated a day of rest from their enemies. God had been bold to save them from sudden death, and they celebrated the rest He gave them. I remembered all the recent instances where God was showing me all the many blessings He had poured out on me in this recent move. I was a far cry from my arrival here just over a year ago. Although life here began much like Paul’s description in 2 Corinthians 7:5 “When we arrived in Macedonia, there was no rest for us. We faced conflict from every direction, with battles on the outside and fear on the inside.” Life now was lived in the joy and fulfillment of verse 6, “But God, who encourages those who are discouraged, encouraged us…” In awe of His favor, I felt the need to celebrate it all. At the same time, I was overcome by a sense that He had brought me to a place of rest. It was the same for me as for the Jews in Susa. God had rescued me from a life lived in defeat and mediocrity (spiritual death), poured out His abundant goodness on me, and I was drawn to celebrate His provision of rest.
Remembering a verse from Hebrews, I went to read it. “So we see that because of their unbelief they were not able to enter his rest.” (3:19) My rest had come because I refused to harbor unbelief. I rejected the lies of my enemy that God had abandoned me in this recent stillness and instead believed the Truth written in Psalm 16: 8, 9 & 11. “For only we who believe can enter his rest.” (Hebrews 4:3)
What are we to believe? The Truth found in His Word. In the words of the band Casting Crowns, “I can’t live by what I feel, but by the truth Your Word reveals.” Even though I could not feel His bold presence, I believed the Truth that “he [was] right beside me.” There is a precious hymn I remember singing as a child that says it best, “Standing on the promises that cannot fail, when the howling storms of doubt and fear assail, by the living Word of God I shall prevail, standing on the promises of God. Standing, standing, standing on the promises of Christ my Savior; standing, standing, I'm standing on the promises of God.” (verse 2 from Standing on the Promises)
Live believing… so that others may see Christ and also find rest in Him. “Now he uses us to spread the knowledge of Christ everywhere, like a sweet perfume. Our lives are a Christ-like fragrance rising up to God.” (2 Corinthians 2:14-15) He desires my living to celebrate this rest and leave behind a fragrance as sweet as Christ’s sacrifice.
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
The Simple Life
Since my last post, God has brought me back to a very simple way of living. Not a life of ease, just simplistic. The other day I spent time talking with my sister and chased other people's blogs and even other people's favorite blogs. Through my conversation with her and reading all these blog excerpts about relationships, changed lives, hurts, growing up, joys, struggles... life, I came face to face with the other people's realities. It was as if I was living the chorus of Brandon Heath's song, Give Me Your Eyes. And that is when the last few chapters I'd been reading in 1 Corinthians began to sink in to somewhere deep inside. It is about a way of living... "But now let me show you a way of life that is best of all." (1 Corinthians 12:31)
"If I had the gift of prophecy, and if I understood all of God's secret plans and possessed all knowledge, and if I had such faith that I could move mountains, but didn't love others, I would be nothing." (1 Corinthians 13:2) There is much to be gained in depth and fullness in real relationship with God, but it is worth nothing to us if we do not use it to love others. Not that intimate relationship with Christ should not be sought after. On the contrary, to love as described in the famous verses of 1 Corinthians 13 could only be achieved by dying to ourselves and allowing Christ to love through us. But the focus is not the gifts received from deep communion with Jesus, but how we use our gifting to let Him love others through us.
Just as struck as I was by other people's realities, I was convicted by a quote Beth Moore used in a DVD session of her Esther study that seems to sum it up: "In the eyes of the world, it is not our relationship to Jesus Christ that counts; it is our resemblance to Him." Paul puts it this way, "Let love be your highest goal!" (1 Corinthians 14:1)
Love, love, love... the Christian life simplified.
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Transformation: A Work in Progress
Colliding head on into other people's stuff draws me to the place where He clarifies all that swirls in my head. A place where, in the words of the band Casting Crowns, "I can't live by what I feel, but by the truth Your Word reveals...." Jesus prays for us to His Almighty Father in John 17:17, "Make them holy by your truth, teach them your word, which is truth."
Sometimes I am so assimilated into this earthly life that I do not notice that I have taken on a lie of the world as "just how it is." I do not realize that I have a choice to believe differently. I do not even see the need to believe differently. This is where God and I met today.
I struggled inside today. My feelings wrestled with what I knew was truth from Scripture. I wanted to justify my feelings in His Word. I saw His truth, but wanted my feelings verified. I even went so far as to research the meaning of the original Greek language in one such verse hoping to arrive at the conclusion I desired. All to no avail. God's Word is truth not my feelings.
He brought Romans 12:2 to mind, "Don't copy the behaviors and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think." I had allowed the world's views to slip in silently and affect my emotions allowing me to justify sinful behavior in others. It was here He said, "I do not want you to think like the world. Let my Truth transform you by transforming your thinking even in this matter."
So, then what? I am now left with the known sin of others that He is asking me to object to. But, I ask, "What about love?" You want me to stand against the sin, but love the person. Isn't this contradictory? "Don't just pretend to love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Hold tightly to what is good." (Romans 12:9) What does this look like? Work this out in me... "And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns." (Philippians 1:6)
May I be a willing participant of Your work. "Teach me how to live, O Lord. Lead me along the right path..." (Psalm 27:11) "The Lord says, 'I will guide you along the best pathway for your life. I will advise you and watch over you." (Psalm 32:8)
Sometimes I am so assimilated into this earthly life that I do not notice that I have taken on a lie of the world as "just how it is." I do not realize that I have a choice to believe differently. I do not even see the need to believe differently. This is where God and I met today.
I struggled inside today. My feelings wrestled with what I knew was truth from Scripture. I wanted to justify my feelings in His Word. I saw His truth, but wanted my feelings verified. I even went so far as to research the meaning of the original Greek language in one such verse hoping to arrive at the conclusion I desired. All to no avail. God's Word is truth not my feelings.
He brought Romans 12:2 to mind, "Don't copy the behaviors and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think." I had allowed the world's views to slip in silently and affect my emotions allowing me to justify sinful behavior in others. It was here He said, "I do not want you to think like the world. Let my Truth transform you by transforming your thinking even in this matter."
So, then what? I am now left with the known sin of others that He is asking me to object to. But, I ask, "What about love?" You want me to stand against the sin, but love the person. Isn't this contradictory? "Don't just pretend to love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Hold tightly to what is good." (Romans 12:9) What does this look like? Work this out in me... "And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns." (Philippians 1:6)
May I be a willing participant of Your work. "Teach me how to live, O Lord. Lead me along the right path..." (Psalm 27:11) "The Lord says, 'I will guide you along the best pathway for your life. I will advise you and watch over you." (Psalm 32:8)
Monday, March 9, 2009
Intoxicated
Just as we entered the Lenten season, I was reading from the book of Joel. I remember being slapped in the face with an incredible revelation that I've been wanting to share. Still geared up on caffine from an "Amy" (the local ice cream/ coffee shop's signature chocolate espresso milk shake), I reminesce over my conviction. Please ablige me.
(Warning: This verse may seem a bit "in your face.") "Wake up you drunkards and weep!" (Joel 1:5) Who me? What could I be drunk on? Sure, I like a good glass of wine or a cold beer on a hot day, but me, drunk... drunkenness... What keeps me in a stooper where my vision is blurred and my mind is clouded? (Ouch! This may hurt!)
The world... the insatiable lust for more... the desire to be more beautiful so much so that I am not satisfied in my present state... discontent! Me! The world keeps me drunk on ME! My thoughts consistently steer toward me and my happiness, unhappiness, appearance, wants, hurts, joys, rights, fears... irrelevant of anyone else. Inebriated, I am unable to clearly see, hear or even understand God's desires for me.
God wants to share himself with me, but cannot because there is not room for Him in someone totally self-consumed. He's calling me to sober up and be remorseful of my state of drunkenness. "Turn to me now while there is time. Give me your hearts. Come with fasting, weeping, and mourning. Don't tear your clothing in your grief, but tear your hearts instead." (Joel 2:12-13) We need this reality check...
But, the point is not a self-loathing attitude either. This is just the opposite end of the pride spectrum. The point is not the person at all. The point is Christ... Christ being lived through the actions and attitudes of those He inhabits. This is work! It requires a constant checking and re-checking of thought patterns and the actions that overflow from them. Choosing to live by the Spirit, not the flesh. Yes, it is a choice, sometimes a very difficult choice, but a choice is what we are given. "So I say, let the Holy Spirit guide your lives. Then you won't be doing what your sinful nature craves." (Galatians 5:16)
So, "I pray that from his glorious unlimited resources he will empower you with inner strength through his Spirit... [May] your roots grow down into God's love and keep you strong... Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think. Glory to him in the church and in Christ Jesus through all generations forever and ever! Amen." (Ephesians 3:16, 17, 20,21)
(Warning: This verse may seem a bit "in your face.") "Wake up you drunkards and weep!" (Joel 1:5) Who me? What could I be drunk on? Sure, I like a good glass of wine or a cold beer on a hot day, but me, drunk... drunkenness... What keeps me in a stooper where my vision is blurred and my mind is clouded? (Ouch! This may hurt!)
The world... the insatiable lust for more... the desire to be more beautiful so much so that I am not satisfied in my present state... discontent! Me! The world keeps me drunk on ME! My thoughts consistently steer toward me and my happiness, unhappiness, appearance, wants, hurts, joys, rights, fears... irrelevant of anyone else. Inebriated, I am unable to clearly see, hear or even understand God's desires for me.
God wants to share himself with me, but cannot because there is not room for Him in someone totally self-consumed. He's calling me to sober up and be remorseful of my state of drunkenness. "Turn to me now while there is time. Give me your hearts. Come with fasting, weeping, and mourning. Don't tear your clothing in your grief, but tear your hearts instead." (Joel 2:12-13) We need this reality check...
But, the point is not a self-loathing attitude either. This is just the opposite end of the pride spectrum. The point is not the person at all. The point is Christ... Christ being lived through the actions and attitudes of those He inhabits. This is work! It requires a constant checking and re-checking of thought patterns and the actions that overflow from them. Choosing to live by the Spirit, not the flesh. Yes, it is a choice, sometimes a very difficult choice, but a choice is what we are given. "So I say, let the Holy Spirit guide your lives. Then you won't be doing what your sinful nature craves." (Galatians 5:16)
So, "I pray that from his glorious unlimited resources he will empower you with inner strength through his Spirit... [May] your roots grow down into God's love and keep you strong... Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think. Glory to him in the church and in Christ Jesus through all generations forever and ever! Amen." (Ephesians 3:16, 17, 20,21)
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Determined for Greatness
I often day dream about this place. A place where something that seems to be comes to really be. This is the place where God meets me to speak truth and love to my soul longing, thirsting for His living water. I am here...
It has occurred to me in the past few days, as I planned to host a Bible study at my home, that I am living Proverbs 16:9, "We can make our plans, but the Lord determines our steps." As the start date drew closer and closer, I received call after call of women backing out. I had made plans to lead a group of women, but God determined that the group I lead consist of two people, one of whom was me. Boy what that will do to someone who struggles with the fear of not being chosen stemming from belief in a lie that she is not good enough!
But, as usual, my time alone in God's Word became very relevant to my current looming despair. I ventured into 1 Corinthians after a short time in Joel. There I was face to face with Paul the Super-Christian. But, his words sang truth to my weary soul. "Remember that few of you were wise in the world's eyes or powerful or wealthy when God called you..." (1:26) I am of little significance in worldly terms. No fame or fortune. A mere mom and wife wanting to live in the fullness of God's glory and goodness intended for me. "God chose things despised by the world, things counted as nothing at all and used them to bring to nothing what the world considers important. As a result, no one can ever boast in the presence of God." (1:28-29) Because God took my relatively large number of women and dwindled them down, I see myself for who I am and am unable to boast in my own ability, but realize God will use my willingness to participate in His work.
Now not being able to boast in my ability to gather women or my own influence in their lives or any ability of my own, I was vulnerable, weak. I read, "He will keep you strong... God will do this, for he is faithful to do what he says... God's weakness is stronger than the greatest of human strength." (1:8-9,25) Yet, I still felt defeated, and I heard Jesus say, "Believe Me...'Be strong and courageous and do the work. Don't be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord God, my God is with you.' (1 Chronicles 28:20) Do not measure your worth in earthly standards! Find your worth in Me alone, knowing you are where I have placed you. 'Don't put your confidence in... people, there is no help for you there... But joyful are those who have the God of Israel as their helper, whose hope is in the Lord their God.' (Psalm 146:3,5) Believe Me..."
I determined to continue on with the study. And, I continued on into 1 Corinthians. And of course, comfort was found. (Sometimes I wonder why I'm so surprised when God shows up so boldly.) Paul says, "I came to you weakness - timid and trembling. And my message and my preaching were very plain. Rather than using clever and persuasive speeches, I relied only on the power of the Holy Spirit. I did this so you would trust not in human wisdom but in the power of God." (2:3-5) At this point, I was also weak with a simple message. But, that's what God needed me to learn. It wasn't about delivering a life-changing message to a large group of women in my home. It would have been too easy to boast in myself and my ability in all that missing Him altogether. Both my neighbor and I will now only be able to trust in the power of God's Holy Spirit at work in us.
I wonder if we don't all struggle with this same lesson. We have in our minds that to work for Christ would mean we must do something great, big, drastic, but we are merely regular people living the ordinary. I like how Beth Moore puts it in her study of Esther, "This is the stuff of ordinary life. We have trash to take out. Bills to pay. Mortgages to meet. Make no mistake. Extraordinary things happen around us continually. We just don't always recognize them... Great lives don't always seem great while we're living them. They may seem embarrassingly regular. Seeking to be extraordinary isn't the answer because great lives are never achieved by making greatness the goal... To live for the greatness of God is to live the great life... Every one of us who embraces the glory of God as our purpose will end up doing great things precisely because we do God-things. His holy hand resting on the least act renders the ordinary extraordinary... Christ summons the disillusioned to the paradoxical bliss of spilling life lavishly, sacrificially for the glory of God and the good of man. Those with presence of mind and semblance of health are called to pour out the drink offering of their lives until the cup is overturned and every drop of energy slips - perhaps unnoticed, uncelebrated - into the vast ocean of earthly need."
It has occurred to me in the past few days, as I planned to host a Bible study at my home, that I am living Proverbs 16:9, "We can make our plans, but the Lord determines our steps." As the start date drew closer and closer, I received call after call of women backing out. I had made plans to lead a group of women, but God determined that the group I lead consist of two people, one of whom was me. Boy what that will do to someone who struggles with the fear of not being chosen stemming from belief in a lie that she is not good enough!
But, as usual, my time alone in God's Word became very relevant to my current looming despair. I ventured into 1 Corinthians after a short time in Joel. There I was face to face with Paul the Super-Christian. But, his words sang truth to my weary soul. "Remember that few of you were wise in the world's eyes or powerful or wealthy when God called you..." (1:26) I am of little significance in worldly terms. No fame or fortune. A mere mom and wife wanting to live in the fullness of God's glory and goodness intended for me. "God chose things despised by the world, things counted as nothing at all and used them to bring to nothing what the world considers important. As a result, no one can ever boast in the presence of God." (1:28-29) Because God took my relatively large number of women and dwindled them down, I see myself for who I am and am unable to boast in my own ability, but realize God will use my willingness to participate in His work.
Now not being able to boast in my ability to gather women or my own influence in their lives or any ability of my own, I was vulnerable, weak. I read, "He will keep you strong... God will do this, for he is faithful to do what he says... God's weakness is stronger than the greatest of human strength." (1:8-9,25) Yet, I still felt defeated, and I heard Jesus say, "Believe Me...'Be strong and courageous and do the work. Don't be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord God, my God is with you.' (1 Chronicles 28:20) Do not measure your worth in earthly standards! Find your worth in Me alone, knowing you are where I have placed you. 'Don't put your confidence in... people, there is no help for you there... But joyful are those who have the God of Israel as their helper, whose hope is in the Lord their God.' (Psalm 146:3,5) Believe Me..."
I determined to continue on with the study. And, I continued on into 1 Corinthians. And of course, comfort was found. (Sometimes I wonder why I'm so surprised when God shows up so boldly.) Paul says, "I came to you weakness - timid and trembling. And my message and my preaching were very plain. Rather than using clever and persuasive speeches, I relied only on the power of the Holy Spirit. I did this so you would trust not in human wisdom but in the power of God." (2:3-5) At this point, I was also weak with a simple message. But, that's what God needed me to learn. It wasn't about delivering a life-changing message to a large group of women in my home. It would have been too easy to boast in myself and my ability in all that missing Him altogether. Both my neighbor and I will now only be able to trust in the power of God's Holy Spirit at work in us.
I wonder if we don't all struggle with this same lesson. We have in our minds that to work for Christ would mean we must do something great, big, drastic, but we are merely regular people living the ordinary. I like how Beth Moore puts it in her study of Esther, "This is the stuff of ordinary life. We have trash to take out. Bills to pay. Mortgages to meet. Make no mistake. Extraordinary things happen around us continually. We just don't always recognize them... Great lives don't always seem great while we're living them. They may seem embarrassingly regular. Seeking to be extraordinary isn't the answer because great lives are never achieved by making greatness the goal... To live for the greatness of God is to live the great life... Every one of us who embraces the glory of God as our purpose will end up doing great things precisely because we do God-things. His holy hand resting on the least act renders the ordinary extraordinary... Christ summons the disillusioned to the paradoxical bliss of spilling life lavishly, sacrificially for the glory of God and the good of man. Those with presence of mind and semblance of health are called to pour out the drink offering of their lives until the cup is overturned and every drop of energy slips - perhaps unnoticed, uncelebrated - into the vast ocean of earthly need."
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