I love to know God, to feel Him boldly at work within me. I crave his powerful presence moving me, changing me, growing me. Yet, it will not always be so. I have reached this place recently. In the beginning of my intimate journey with God, my mind perceived He was silent during these times. Though, as I came down from my most recent mountain, I knew from a deep place within that this was different. I found the need to remind myself of His presence even though I didn’t feel it. “I know the Lord is always with me. I will not be shaken, for he is right beside me. No wonder my heart is glad, and I rejoice. My body rests in safety…You will show me the way of life, granting me the joy of your presence and the pleasures of living with you forever.” (Psalm 16:8,9,11) I needed to believe Him, trust Him, rest in my faith. I believe the truth of these verses and would often repeat them out loud to Him (Psalm 116: 10) helping to put my confidence in the reality of His Word.
The more I believed Psalm 16:8,9, & 11, the more I sensed Him wanting to teach me in this place as well. I firmly believe God calls us to praise Him for an outcome that is yet to be out of pure belief that He WILL bring it to be. Although I was not overwhelmed by His current presence, I was being drawn to celebrate Him in me. I lived my days continuing to believe our relationship was good. It was not that God was silent at this time, just quiet, reserved, comfortable. I prayed, “Teach me to relish in the resting of these moments…”
At the moment of that prayer, I was reminded of the end of Esther. The Jews in Susa celebrated a day of rest from their enemies. God had been bold to save them from sudden death, and they celebrated the rest He gave them. I remembered all the recent instances where God was showing me all the many blessings He had poured out on me in this recent move. I was a far cry from my arrival here just over a year ago. Although life here began much like Paul’s description in 2 Corinthians 7:5 “When we arrived in Macedonia, there was no rest for us. We faced conflict from every direction, with battles on the outside and fear on the inside.” Life now was lived in the joy and fulfillment of verse 6, “But God, who encourages those who are discouraged, encouraged us…” In awe of His favor, I felt the need to celebrate it all. At the same time, I was overcome by a sense that He had brought me to a place of rest. It was the same for me as for the Jews in Susa. God had rescued me from a life lived in defeat and mediocrity (spiritual death), poured out His abundant goodness on me, and I was drawn to celebrate His provision of rest.
Remembering a verse from Hebrews, I went to read it. “So we see that because of their unbelief they were not able to enter his rest.” (3:19) My rest had come because I refused to harbor unbelief. I rejected the lies of my enemy that God had abandoned me in this recent stillness and instead believed the Truth written in Psalm 16: 8, 9 & 11. “For only we who believe can enter his rest.” (Hebrews 4:3)
What are we to believe? The Truth found in His Word. In the words of the band Casting Crowns, “I can’t live by what I feel, but by the truth Your Word reveals.” Even though I could not feel His bold presence, I believed the Truth that “he [was] right beside me.” There is a precious hymn I remember singing as a child that says it best, “Standing on the promises that cannot fail, when the howling storms of doubt and fear assail, by the living Word of God I shall prevail, standing on the promises of God. Standing, standing, standing on the promises of Christ my Savior; standing, standing, I'm standing on the promises of God.” (verse 2 from Standing on the Promises)
Live believing… so that others may see Christ and also find rest in Him. “Now he uses us to spread the knowledge of Christ everywhere, like a sweet perfume. Our lives are a Christ-like fragrance rising up to God.” (2 Corinthians 2:14-15) He desires my living to celebrate this rest and leave behind a fragrance as sweet as Christ’s sacrifice.
