Who Are You?

Who Are You?

When you look in the mirror, what do you see? Do you see reflected back to you the images of a fun house mirror, crazy photo booth effects, or a magnifying mirror? Are you a spiritual anorexic looking in the mirror through a veil, the veil that distorts the glory of the living God bestowed upon you? Or, can you see it? Can you see God Himself moving, breathing, creating, with increase, His glory onto the canvas of you?

Let's look at 2 Corinthians 3:7-18:

7 Now if the ministry of death, chiseled in letters on stones, came with glory, so that the Israelites were not able to look directly at Moses’ face because of the glory from his face—a fading glory— 8 how will the ministry of the Spirit not be more glorious? 9 For if the ministry of condemnation had glory, the ministry of righteousness overflows with even more glory. 10 In fact, what had been glorious is not glorious now by comparison because of the glory that surpasses it. 11 For if what was fading away was glorious, what endures will be even more glorious.

12 Therefore, having such a hope, we use great boldness. 13 We are not like Moses, who used to put a veil over his face so that the Israelites could not stare at the the end of what was fading away, 14 but their minds were closed. For to this day, at the reading of the old covenant, the same veil remains; it is not lifted, because it is set aside only in Christ. 15 Even to this day, whenever Moses is read, a veil lies over their hearts, 16 but whenever a person turns to the Lord, the veil is removed. 17 Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. 18 We all, with unveiled faces, are looking as in a mirror at the glory of the Lord and are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory; this is from the Lord who is the Spirit.    2 Corinthians 3:7-18 

It is my prayer that God remove any veil covering our hearts, minds, eyes, or even ears so that we can truly see what He sees. That God would take us deeper into seeing. Revealing to us how He sees, not just what He sees, but give us supernatural knowledge of the process He engages in when He looks... at us, those around us, our circumstances, our hearts, our thoughts... May God surprise us with His utter and unending glory and goodness so that His Kingdom reigns in our lives, and we are empowered to continue to establish that Heavenly Kingdom everywhere we set our feet.

Who are you? Today television, technology, and social media effortlessly place the perfection of the human image, its beauty, form and function, in the forefront of our minds' eyes. We cannot escape the war unscathed. Everywhere our eyes take us, we are bombed with a standard of excellence only satisfied by striving. Almost ironically, the effort needed to achieve such perfection is in direct contrast to the ease at which the standard is made available to us.

Who are you? If you are a child of God, a follower of The Way, the standard you are measured by is not the exploitation of the human image placed constantly in our faces, but your measuring stick is instead... the glory of God. You might be saying to yourself, "And just how is that supposed to make me feel better?! How could I possibly measure up to the glory of God? My friends' lives on Facebook are bad enough. But, the glory of God?! Explain that!" Well, let's look back at Paul's words in 2 Corinthians:

18 We all, with unveiled faces, are looking as in a mirror at the glory of the Lord and are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory; this is from the Lord who is the Spirit.

 Looking back at the original Greek in this verse, "are looking as in a mirror" means to reflect as a mirror; to mirror. So, we, those children of God and followers of The Way, are actually reflecting God and His glory.

Who are you? Paul tells us in verse 17 that "whenever a person turns to the Lord, the veil is removed." When the veil is lifted off our faces, like that of a bride, our eyes can see clearly. What is it we are looking at once our sight is unhindered? Verse 18 tells us we are looking at "the glory of God." God's grace for us is to turn to Him so that He can show us Him in us. We are wooed into covenant with Him, the bridegroom, and He pulls back our veil so that we can look at His glory. His glory, doxa (Greek),  literally means "what evokes good opinion." When we get lost gazing at Him, His glory speaks to us of our own "inherent, intrinsic worth." God's grace for us is to turn to Him so that He can show us Him in us.

Who are you? With veil removed, look in the mirror.  God's glory abounds to shine on you kindling His fire of dreams, visions, gifts and callings in your life. Look closely... Look intently... Look with joyful anticipation for God's glory to spark the glory fire He birthed in you from the beginning of time. Look to find the reflection of His glory that only you can be.

Who are you? When we "look," by definition we direct our gaze toward someone or something or in a specific direction. Who we are then, according to Paul, can be determined by who, what or in which direction we are looking. The temptation of the enemy is to distract your gaze with oppositional people, disaster, less than ideal circumstances, an incurable diagnosis, loss... and the list could continue. Reverting our eyes away from the glory of God, gives the enemy the ability to steal, kill, and destroy the unique glory God bestowed on each of us. What we look at matters. Take David in the Bible for instance. (Part of his story can be read in 2 Samuel 11:1-4.) David was a man after God's own heart, a warrior and a king. Yet, when his gaze was distracted by a bathing beauty, Bathsheba, he gave the enemy territory to roam freely and wreak havoc not just in his own life, but in the lives of others as well.

Who are you? It matters. It matters not just for your sake, but for the sake of the people around you. Perseverance is "the steadfastness in doing something despite difficulty or delay in achieving success." We do not persevere with the enemy's many attempts at distracting us. We persevere in staying focused, intently gazing at the glory of God. Because as we gaze at His abundant goodness "we are being transformed into [His] image from glory to glory." (2 Corinthians 3:18) Transformed... Our sight set on Him and not on the things around us transforms us... The Greek gives depth to the word transformed. In the original language it is the word metamorphoo where we get our word metamorphosis. Metamorphoo is two words "Meta" which means to change after being with and "morphoo" meaning changing form in keeping with inner reality. Time spent face to face with God, gazing at all His glory changes us from the glory bestowed on all humankind to the glory of Christ Himself.

Who are you? Who or what are looking at? What do you see? When we allow the enemy to distract us from who we are, a reflection of the glory of Almighty God, we live a life of compromise to Truth. We live unfulfilled, joyless lives because we don't see the glory God has equipped us with to accomplish the destiny He ignites deep within us. For me, I see glory, the crowing glory of all God's creation. Persevere to engage with God's glory allowing it to transform you into greater glory, the glory of who you've always hoped and dreamed to be.

hope for today

God has goodness (and lots of it) planned for you today. Do not accept the enemy's challenge to engage with other people's stuff? Instead, in everything, be determined to uncover the incredible goodness God has especially for you. Other people are not where we fix our gaze. When we fix our eyes on Jesus, we see Him. What is He? Patient, kind, loving, joyful, capable, merciful, full of grace... Those are attributes (and many more) of His goodness that He has planned for you!!! He has abundant life for you! All of Him in abundance is available for you today!! Ask Him to reveal who He wants to be for you today! So, wipe your hard drive of frustration, anger, sadness, self-pity, anxiety or whatever the enemy has used to engage you with other people's stuff. When we abide in any or all of those mindsets and not in Jesus Himself, we choose to live in our own personal hell on earth. Instead, be steadfast and determined to engage only with the goodness of God!!!

CIV: Cara's Interpreted Version

After encouragement from friends and my man, I return to this place with something short and sweet.

There were two verses in Romans 6 that stuck out to me: "... you live under the freedom of  God's grace. (v.14) ... the free gift of God is eternal life... (v.23)" And, Romans 5:17, "... all who receive [God's gracious gift] will live in triumph over sin and death."

When I did a word study, I found the following:
  - free gift of God - the operation of grace (undeserved or divine favor)
  - eternal life - Eternal life does not focus on the future per se, but rather on the quality of the age it     relates to. Thus, believers live in "eternal life" right now, experiencing this quality of God's life now as a present possession.

So here's "Cara's Interpreted Version" of verse 23 in Romans 6:
  ... the operation of divine favor from God is experiencing the quality of God's life now as a present possession.

Now, lets put Romans 6:23 in the context of 6:14 and Romans 5:17:
  When our lives operate under the influence of undeserved, divine favor from God, we experience the present realization of the quality of God's life as a tangible gift and are thus living triumphantly over sin and death! What freedom we have as children of God!

Freedom

I have been mulling over the concept of freedom in my head for a couple of weeks. Freedom... I knew in my head that I was free, but I took that knowledge and used it selfishly. My concern was my own wants and desires and emotions. My actions were just an extension of those consuming thoughts all about me. I wanted people to change behaviors and ways of thinking so that I would no longer be frustrated by them. (Of course, their changes could bring about positive results for them as well and that's how I sold the lie to myself that they were interfering with my freedom.) My choices were about what would bring me sanity and comfort. All the while, my own personal actions (which were the only true things I did have control over) were bound up in a set of must-do's and do-not's in order to gain or keep God's favor.

While reading several books, two of which were on parenting, the authors presented our relationship with God in such a way that shifted my belief of how God viewed me and what is most important to Him. I have favor with God. I have God's favor no matter what choices I make. There is no choice that can keep me out of favor with Him or create a reason for Him to withdraw His favor. I knew this. But, it was only head knowledge. I did not believe this as Truth within the deepest parts of me.

So, I read and read and reread trying to make this paradigm shift become my reality. I am still reading wanting to live in this freedom of which they speak. God's light began pouring into my soul through each word illuminating the Truth of His love for me. For love, real love, honest, genuine love, can only be experienced in the context of relationship.  It is for love and relationship that Christ died. And love is only true when we have freedom... the freedom to choose love or to reject it. God gives us choice. We are free.

When our choices are reflected in relationships full of harmony, we are choosing love. We know longer make our decisions based on our own comfort and sanity. We think of the other person, be it God, our mate, our friends, our children, our neighbors, or even strangers, instead of acting out of the me that tends to be in our face always seeking first place. Life is hard. We struggle. We get hurt. We have obligations and responsibilities. But when we act to create amiable relationships, we are exhibiting at least one fruit, self-control. Choosing love gives power to the Holy Spirit to manifest itself in us and our relationships will often exhibit many more fruits of the Spirit. "...the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control."

As long as life sails smoothly, pride can enter in giving us the idea that these fruits are our own doing. Then the aim becomes the actions that give the Holy Spirit the opportunity to produce the fruits. We must remember we cannot control our actions into producing this fruit through a long list of do's and don'ts.

2 Corinthians 3:6-18 says, " ⁶ He has enabled us to be ministers of his new covenant. This is a covenant not of written laws, but of the Spirit. The old written covenant ends in death; but under the new covenant, the Spirit gives life. ⁷ The old way,^[b] with laws etched in stone, led to death, though it began with such glory that the people of Israel could not bear to look at Moses’ face. For his face shone with the glory of God, even though the brightness was already fading away. ⁸ Shouldn’t we expect far greater glory under the new way, now that the Holy Spirit is giving life? ⁹ If the old way, which brings condemnation, was glorious, how much more glorious is the new way, which makes us right with God! ¹⁰ In fact, that first glory was not glorious at all compared with the overwhelming glory of the new way. ¹¹ So if the old way, which has been replaced, was glorious, how much more glorious is the new, which remains forever! ¹² Since this new way gives us such confidence, we can be very bold. ¹³ We are not like Moses, who put a veil over his face so the people of Israel would not see the glory, even though it was destined to fade away. ¹⁴ But the people’s minds were hardened, and to this day whenever the old covenant is being read, the same veil covers their minds so they cannot understand the truth. And this veil can be removed only by believing in Christ. ¹⁵ Yes, even today when they read Moses’ writings, their hearts are covered with that veil, and they do not understand. ¹⁶ But whenever someone turns to the Lord, the veil is taken away. 17 For the Lord is the Spirit, and wherever the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. ¹⁸ So all of us who have had that veil removed can see and reflect the glory of the Lord. And the Lord—who is the Spirit—makes us more and more like him as we are changed into his glorious image."

Yet, we live bound by the Old Covenant which burdens us and causes anguish and conflicts. We know what we should be because we created a list of actions that will get us there and yet we see a difference between what we should be and what we think we are. (Butterfly) To be free, we must see that when we were born again we were made new, washed clean, given a new heart, a pure heart. Our evil hearts died with Christ. "But Christ has rescued us from the curse pronounced by the law." (Galatians 3:13)

God wants to lift the burdens we impose on ourselves that come when we try to control an evil heart with our lists... an evil heart that does not exist anymore. These burdens are compounded by a fear of failure. We don't often act out of freedom. We act out of fear of disappointing God with our failure. This fear of disappointing God and even others restrains our faith--keeps us bound by external controls, bound by lists of do's and don'ts, bound by the law... BOUND... NOT FREE. "Freedom comes by breaking a preconceived mold you have fastened around yourself." (Butterfly)

The fruit of the Spirit is produced when we take the focus off ourselves and our actions and their outcomes and put a priority on relationship and love. We will mess up, but it's like a baby learning to walk. When children learn to walk, do they make mistakes? Isn't that an absurd question? Of course not, the scenes I remember in my own children's lives were filled with happiness, hope, and excitement at every bit of progress. It was fun to see their delight in learning something new. They could sense my pleasure and feel my love. They were even eager to try again (eventually) after falling. If a baby were afraid of falling, he would never take the first step. But, because of love and encouragement, he has no fear and learns to laugh when he falls.

So... Slow down. Let others see your weaknesses and don't be afraid to fail now and then. Be secure in your relationship with God, in the love He has for you. You already have His favor.

We are free... "So Christ has truly set us free. Now make sure that you stay free, and don't get tied up again in slavery to the law." (Galatians 5:1) We are free to do as we choose. Free to build relationship and show love or free not to. The focus of our actions isn't the outcome of those actions, but what the actions speak into the relationship and the love we present. "For you have been called to live in freedom, my brothers and sisters. But don't use your freedom to satisfy your sinful nature. Instead use your freedom to serve one another in love. For the whole law can be summed up in this one command: "Love your neighbor as yourself." (Galatians 5:13-14)

Will others experience this freedom because of you? What will you do?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i41qWJ6QjPI&list=WLwiFxMSOCGPraCS9HeFJZh_hHE0I8SyEe

(This train of thought was produced from reading Parenting on Purpose by Danny Silk, Parenting with Love and Logic by Foster Cline and Jim Faye, and Lord, I've Felt Like A Worm For So Long, It's Hard To Think Like A Butterfly! by Joan Wilson. Any quote or direct idea not referenced from the Bible (NLT), was taken from Joan Wilson's book.)

It Takes Two...

Pondering Isaiah 7, I am stuck on verse 10. "Unless your faith is firm, I cannot make you stand firm."  It's not all God's part.  This "thing" is a relationship.  It takes two...

How often do I look at my life and think that God just didn't come through? This one little verse reminds me that I have a part to play.  It's not about a god in total control of an uncooperative, unwilling puppet.  Living is about a real trust placed in a real being according to the depth of the relationship.

How firm can my faith be if there is little or no personal experience with whom I am placing my faith?  Trust is incomprehensible without knowing the person being trusted.  Relationship is where it's cultivated.

If I want to stand firm in the face of fear, I must have a firm faith.  Firm faith in God occurs only through knowing him deeply, intimately in the context of real relationship.

Listening

It's been so long since I've sat at these keys writing it almost seems foreign to me.  Life now leaves little time to spend here.  I am flabbergasted at how much time I was putting into this place.  Sadness would have overtaken me many months ago if I knew just how little writing I get to do now.  But, instead I get to love on two amazing little boys who fill me more than they drain me. (Did I just say that?)

So, I sit at too late an hour pondering thoughts to put on the page knowing it is because my husband urges me that I am actually taking the time.  It is so quiet.  All is well in the house, at least for this moment.  And I write... I write...  Yet in this stillness I am beckoned to His feet to listen.  It is not my turn to speak.  His voice is faint. Can you hear it? 

1 Kings 19:11-13


11 The LORD said, “Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the LORD, for the LORD is about to pass by.” Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the LORD, but the LORD was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the LORD was not in the earthquake. 12 After the earthquake came a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper. 13 When Elijah heard it, he pulled his cloak over his face and went out and stood at the mouth of the cave. Then a voice said to him, “What are you doing here, Elijah?”

Our world bombards us with NOISE.  In the quiet, if we ever find it, we often have no idea what we're doing there.  The NOISE occupies us...  What am I doing here?  My God calls to me, and I will listen.

Death or Life

As I begin, butterflies swirl around inside (or is that the little life within my womb endlessly tossing and turning).  Regardless,I wonder if I can still do this thing called blogging.  I am a bundle of nerves hoping I can make sense in the words that make it to the page.  Bear with me...

I have been traveling through 1 & 2 Samuel the past few weeks, maybe even months.  It is not a new place for me to be, but something new brews within as I read and relate to life.  Life... my life as been met head on with the heartache of death.  A 13 year battle with cancer in a cousin and the unforeseen death of a 5 year old have left me wondering, "Why life?" 

At the funerals, comfort seemed to take on the message: "They are with God now.  They are in heaven."  But, I wonder, as awesome as it that these two precious people now sit in the very presence of God, why were they given life.  Thirteen years fighting for life and five years living as though only the now mattered cause me to question whether I might have believed wrongly for many years.  Is heaven really the goal?  Are we put here to die and go to heaven? Or, should the question be more appropriately worded, is our time on earth a chance to live and go to heaven?

God has a desire for us to know Him.  So why does God leave us here to live for 13 more years after we receive our death sentence?  Why give a child life for only a short time?  I hear Him gently respond, "It is in the living, the fighting, the struggles, the now that you learn to know Me and are given opportunity to see Me, not the dying."

I've been reading about warrior David's fighting and battles in the books of Samuel.  David's fighting and daily living (interaction with family and friends) were not about revenge or trying to establish himself as king.  God had promised David he would be king over God's people Israel, but David left that victory in God's hands.  His actions (i.e. fighting battles, marrying, having children, creating allies, etc.) were an act of faith that God would do what He said He would do.  They are a testimony of his faith.  He literally lived Paul's words to Timothy, "Fight the good fight of faith." (1 Timothy 6:12)

We must be like David and my cousin and that sweet child, trusting that God is.  But, we need not sit around twiddling our thumbs.  We must trust God with our living, our actions, believing with all we do that God will take ultimate victory.  "... faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead." (James 2:17)

Life... yes, life!  God's goal in giving us life is not that we get to heaven.  His goal is not achieved in our dying rather our living.  His goal is that we use the LIFE He gives us to demonstrate our faith that He has and will do what He says He will do and take the victory.  May it be said of us all just as Paul knew it of himself, "I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith." (2 Timothy 4:7)

Scare Tactics

This past week my husband and I were face to face with a defining choice.  We were being confronted with scary information meant to sway our choice heavily in one direction.  As silly as it sounds, God showed me His will for our choosing.

After feelings of discomfort, I went to an unbiased source for a little research on the matter at hand.  I noticed that what was originally being presented to us as fact is really only a hypothesis with very little scientific backing proving its claims.  Then I heard His sweet voice remind me of Isaiah 8:11-14, "The Lord spoke to me with his strong hand upon me, warning me not to follow the way of this people.  He said: 'Do not call conspiracy everything that these people call conspiracy; do not fear what they fear, and do not dread it.  The Lord Almighty is the one you are to fear, he is the one you are to dread, and he will be a sanctuary;..."

As if this were not enough confirmation, He continued to speak this same truth in my current walk through Colossians.  "See to it that no one takes you captive through hollow and deceptive philosophy, which depends on human tradition and the basic principles of this world rather than on Christ... Do not let anyone judge you by what you eat or drink, or with regard to a religious festival, a New Moon celebration or a Sabbath day.  These are a shadow of the things that were to come, the reality, however, is found in Christ... Since you died with Christ to the basic principles of this world, why, as though you still belonged to it, do you submit to its rules: 'Do not handle! Do not taste! Do not touch!'?  These are all destined to perish with use, because they are based on human commands and teachings.  Such regulations indeed have an appearance of wisdom, with their self-imposed worship, their false humility and their harsh treatment of the body, but they lack any value in restraining sensual indulgence." (2:8, 16-17, 20-23)

In today's world, scary sells.  Bad grabs our attention.  Do not take things as truth just because they seem to make sense with mere human wisdom.  Seek God's will and ask Him to show you what to believe.  Do not live this day in fear!  Fear only God, and He will be your sanctuary.

Calgon Take Me Away

Recently I have felt the need for rejuvenation and renewal more frequently than normal.  Yes, I've taken on homeschooling our kindergartener, but I've also been stricken with an overwhelming sense of compassion for the poor, elderly and indigent in the town where I currently reside.  This new sense of responsibility has translated into poorly marking my boundaries out of a sense of guilt or obligation.  A five year-old demanding my undivided attention up until his eyes close for the night and two elderly women wanting friendship, needing medication to be picked up, and requiring groceries have depleted my spirit of its vigor.

So today I sit delving into the Word at Panera Bread with a Starbucks decaf White Chocolate Mocha in hand, no five year-old and no needy elderly women pulling at my heartstrings. I am able to hear my Jesus ask me, "What do you want me to do for you?" (Matthew 20:32) I reply just as the blind men saying, "Lord... [I] want [my] sight." (Matthew 20:33) I want to see my Jesus today.

And, as if I expected Him not to respond, I continue in Colossians where I last left off reading, "... you have taken off your old self with its practices and have put on the new self which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator." (3:9-10)  I hear His sweet, gentle voice saying, "You have chosen to come to Me for renewal today.  True, deep, soul healing renewal comes as you spend time getting to know Me." 

"My dear, I have given you a new self... 'you have taken off your old self... and put on the new self'... 'cloth[ing] yourself with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.' (3:9-10, 12)  You have allowed me to tailor these new garments for you, but don't lose sight of ALL that I've called you to.  'See to it that you complete the work you have received in the Lord.' (4:17)  Don't forget about the things I called you to first: to write and speak.  Yes, compassion, humility, kindness, etc. are your new clothes, but they are nothing if you are constantly standing at the mirror admiring them.  I want you to share the gift of this wardrobe with others through writing and speaking so that they may be spurred on to good works in My Name.  Staying focused on writing and sharing will also give you time to be renewed as you spend time with Me getting to know my heart better and better.

"This is not a selfish focus.  'The poor you will always have with you, and you can help them any time you want.  But you will not always have me.' (Mark 14:7)  You will be of no service to these "poor" if you continue running on fumes.  Remember, '...proclaim [Me], admonishing and teaching everyone with all wisdom, so that you may present everyone perfect in Christ.  To this end [you] labor, struggling with all [My] energy, which so powerfully works in [you].' (Colossians 1:28-29)"

Are you too in need of a way to temporarily escape all that pulls at you in order to be renewed and rejuvenated?  You may find Calgon's bubbles, Panera's broccolli cheddar soup, Starbucks' mocha, or something totally different your little sliver of God's glory this side of eternity.  Share it with Him desiring to see Him revealed in the intimate details of your personal circumstances getting to know His heart better and better.  He desires to be known by you.

A Love Story

"But 'God made them male and female' from the beginning of creation.  'This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.'  Since they are no longer two but one, let no one split apart what God has joined together."  (Mark 10:6-9)

I recently watched the movie Seven Pounds which really got me thinking deeply.  God used that deep place of introspection coincidentally with the thoughts from my last discussion with our home group on the Rich Young Ruler.  After contemplating the question, "What keeps ME from following Jesus?", I realized an embedded fear of pain. 

Just like the rich, young ruler who felt it painful to give up all his wealth and possessions to follow Jesus, I find it painful to give all of myself in wreckless abandonment to those I love most, especially my husband.  I can let him watch the intimate details of my life unfold, but to be immersed in life with him, allowing comfort and love to be exchanged means pain in the end.  For to love someone deeply, without regard for any pain that may have to be endured, because you have given all of yourself is kamakazi-like.

This fear of pain keeps my man at arms length, a mere spectator.  The what-ifs swirl through my mind encouraging me to take some control.  Pain from rejection; pain from loss; pain from an overwhelming sense of compassion; pain from a broken heart.  This is where it is difficult for me to follow Jesus: Giving all of me to loving my man without regard for any pain that will be endured, and allowing myself to be loved deeply by him.  But I am reminded in 2 Timothy, "For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love and self-discipline." (1:7)

Trusting God to be sufficient in any pain and not my own relational walls to avoid the pain is the stuff of faith.  "Abraham believed God and God counted him as righteous because of his faith... It is through faith that a righteous person has life." (Galatians 3:6, 11)  I want to experience this life!

The Realization of Rescue

A deep since of compassion is a fresh wound aching in my soul.  Longing to put this pain to use for God's Kingdom, I type here organizing my thoughts to be prepared to share when given an open door.

Realizing God's rescue from the dark pit of despair that engulfed me this summer, my heart breaks when dear friends are almost swallowed up by the same enemy.  I know intimately the reality of demons seeking to strangle the literal life out of someone.  In the face of such horror observed in others, I am utterly humbled into a crying heap on the floor at the realization of God's blessing of rescue.  In the midst, I wanted never to return to such a dark place.  But, experiencing the reality of my own liberation causes me in desparation to long for others' salvation so much that I would take on their despair because I know now that I can make it through because I have God. 

For His precious words to me from Isaiah were the hope that I clung to believing His promise for fulfillment.  "'You have been chosen to know me, believe in me, and understand that I alone am God.  There is no other God - there never has been, and there never will be.  I, yes I, am the Lord, and there is no other Savior.  First, I predicted your rescue, then I saved you... You are witnesses that I am the only God,' says the Lord." (43:10-12)

And now with His gift of compassion "I feel as if I'm going through labor pains for [the hurting and lost], and they will continue until Christ is fully developed in [their] lives." (Galatians 4:19)  May this gift be for nothing.  Hear my cries, Lord!

Sweet Mercy

These thoughts are a compilation of several journal entries. They were resurrected in me by a couple of songs from church. The first song had the line, "... lay it at your feet..." Then and there You told me to lay not just my wants and desires, my hopes and dreams, but also my burdens at Your feet. Right then I envisioned laying a huge personal burden that had been acquired through my own bad choices at your feet.

You spoke tenderly to my heart at that moment and told me You would take it away. I was overcome by Your goodness to me later that night as we sang "Sweet Mercies." Tears poured forth and I could not sing for feelings of humility. Who am I to ask the God of everything to pour out His mercy on me? What have I done to deserve even such a position to approach Him and ask? I am but a wretched sinner, yet He calls to my soul drawing me unto Him into relationship.

Even in my pure humbleness, you still poured forth Your goodness and mercy while my husband and I prayed about this heaviness we've been hauling around. You called to my remembrance the following Scriptures and wrapped Your loving arms around me with their very words. "My child, I want to continue to pour out my rich blessings on you. You haven't seen anything yet! 'No eye has seen, no ear has heard, and no mind has imagined what God has prepared for those who love him.' (1 Corinthians 2:9)... 'How great is the goodness you have stored up for those who fear you. You lavish it on those who come to you for protection blessing them before the watching world.' (Psalm 31:19) So, my dear, 'Give your burdens to the Lord and He will take care of you. He will not permit the godly to slip and fall.' (Psalm 55:22)

Foolishness

I'm finding that following Christ isn't what I thought it to be. Many times in recent days my choices have come under scrutiny by others. We've all been there. Remember those teenage years... Will Smith sang it best, "Parents just don't understand." But, I find it a little more difficult to live in decisions when face to face with others, not just parents, who "just don't understand."

If only my attitude might begin to look more like Paul's. "As for me, it matters very little how I might be evaluated by you or by any human authority. I don't even trust my own judgement at this point. My conscience is clear, but that doesn't prove I'm right. It is the Lord himself who will examine me and decide. So don't make judgements about anyone ahead of time..." (1 Corinthians 4:3-5) Sometimes God's call on our little lives is going to look strange to everyone. It should! After all God is not bound by this world. If he calls us to stand up and out, will we?

As I see this play out in my life, God is teaching me about my tendency to judge others and their choices. Paul continues in 1 Corinthians 4 with words that pierce my own pride, "For what gives you the right to make such a judgement?" (v. 7) Everyone has their own Spiritual relationship. Their choices are between them and God. Silly or normal I must not judge someone based on the choices they make.

Paul reminds me, through his example, that to follow Christ will most often be the opposite of how the world is telling us to live. "We have become a spectacle to the entire world... Our dedication to Christ makes us look like fools, but you claim to be so wise in Christ! We are weak, but you are so powerful! You are honored, but we are ridiculed." He continues, "For the kingdom of God is not just a lot of talk; it is living by God's power. Which do you choose?" (1 Corinthians 4:9-10, 20-21)

How big is God?

"Remember... that few of you were wise in the world's eyes or powerful or wealthy when God called you... As a result, no one can ever boast in the presence of God." (1 Corinthians 1:26, 29)

A thought to ponder... The weaker I am perceived to be, the more of Christ's power I depend on and the more glory of God to be revealed. God wouldn't look very big if I looked to the world like I could handle all I am willing to take on.

Comfortable?

It's been a while... but with a schedule and some routine, I jump back in the saddle.

I wish I hadn't been gone for so long because this post may seem somewhat random. However, life goes on and, if we allow Him, God continues to transform us. I feel different than the Cara from my last few posts. Good different. But, it feels as though you may not recognize me. Take notice of His work, not me.

I've been traveling through Jeremiah recently. Towards the end of the book, after many, many messages from the LORD through Jeremiah, I was struck by the Israelites' desire for comfort... the good life. "We will not listen to your [crazy] messages from the LORD! We will do whatever we want... For in those days we had plenty to eat, and we were well off and had no troubles!" (44:16-17) Their words reminded me of our contemporary American culture. God's way often seems contrary to the comfortable, maybe even extreme at times, yet we are drawn to the tangible things of this earth that give temporary comfort at best.

We trust and want only that which we know and have judged as good. What we know and identify with is life as orphans. Glory and the Kingdom of Heaven are unknowns... things we fear. We crave the tangible, the experienced, the explainable. Our fears keep us craving life as orphans even though we're children of the Living God. The known is our comfort, albeit, false comfort, a lie of the Deceiver. "Because you have trusted your wealth and skill, you will be taken captive." (48:7) We are prisoners of the Liar held there by our own fears of the unknown.

The best example of this concept is described by Russel Moore in his book Adopted for Life. He describes the reaction of his two sons, whom he adopted from Russia, as they were leaving the orphanage. "The trauma of leaving the orphanage was unexpected to me because I knew how much better these boys' life would soon be. I thought they knew too. But they had no idea. They couldn't conceive of anything other than the status quo. My whispering to my boys, ' You won't miss that orphanage' is only a shadow of something I should have known already. Our Father tells us that we too are unable to grasp what's waiting for us - and how glorious it really is. It's hard for us to long for an inheritance to come, a harmonious Christ-ruled universe, when we've never seen anything like it...

"We must learn to be children, not orphans. When my sons arrived in the family, their legal status was not ambiguous at all. They were our kids. But their wants and affections were still atrophied by a year in the orphanage. They didn't know that flies on their faces were bad. They didn't know that a strange man feeding them their first scary gulps of solid food wasn't a torturer. Life in the cribs alone must have seemed to them like freedom. That's what I was missing about the biblical doctrine of adoption. Sure, it's glorious in the long run. But it sure seems like hell in the short run.

"My whispering to my boys, 'You won't miss that orphanage' is only a shadow of something I should have known. God pronounces Israel his 'son,' brings the Israelites through the baptismal waters of judgment, and promises to give them an inheritance, and they long for the fleshpots of Egypt (Exodus 16:1-3). They'd rather be slaves than sons, because at least they could trust the slave driver to give them what they needed.

"The pull toward slave nostalgia is a real danger for all of us. Satan once held all of us in 'lifelong slavery' through our 'fear of death' (Hebrews 2:15). The temptation for all of us is to shrink back to the petty protectors we once hid behind, to be slaves again to placate the Grim Reaper. That's why Paul could thunder to the Galatians, 'Formerly, when you did not know God, you were enslaved to those that by nature are not gods. but now that you have come to know God, or rather be known by God, how can you turn back again to the weak and worthless elementary principles of the world, whose slaves you want to be once more?' (Galatians 4:8-9). Perhaps the most striking aspect of this rebuke is the apostle's insistence that the believers want to be slaves again. Why? They're afraid."

True comfort is given to us in the Holy Spirit, the Comforter. We have been deceived into believing the things of this world (i.e. money, homes, friends, jobs, food, family, etc.) are comforting. The things do not bring real comfort; they only give us what we know and have judged as good.

Following God's ways can look weird and crazy at times. But that is why He left us the Holy Spirit. So that in the physical discomfort (by the world's standards), we could be filled with comfort through the indwelling of the Holy Spirit, the Great Comforter. "And I will pray the Father, and he shall give you another Comforter, that he may abide with you for ever; Even the Spirit of truth; whom the world cannot receive, because it seeth him not, neither knoweth him; but ye know him; for he dwelleth with you; and shall be in you." (John 14:16-17 KJV)

Despite our circumstances and tangible evidence, He promises, "I will not leave you comfortless; I will come to you." (John 14:18 KJV) We are comforted by the residence of the Holy Spirit within us not by a physical resemblance of what the world has judged as comfortable. The NLT puts it this way, "No, I will not abandon you as orphans - I will come to You." (John 14:18)

Remember it is fear of losing tangible comforts that keeps us from knowing the True Comforter. We are orphans without the Holy Spirit, longing for the days in the orphanage because that's all we know. But Paul reminds us in Romans, "For ye have not received the spirit of bondage again to fear; but ye have received the Spirit of adoption, whereby we cry, Abba, Father." (8:15 KJV) This "Spirit of adoption" is described in the Greek as "the nature and condition of the true disciples in Christ, who by receiving the Spirit of God into their souls become sons of God."

But, our earthly realm doesn't match. We suffer death, lose, heartache, hardship and so we cry with arms out stretched like a toddler, "Abba, Father!" because our souls desire "the blessed state looked for in the future life after the return of Christ from heaven."

Where is our comfort found? Is it in the ease of life's daily grind succumbing to the bondage of fear to avoid pain, unpleasantness or embarrassment? Or, are we living so full of the Spirit that we are comforted regardless of exterior circumstances because "the Spirit itself beareth witness with our spirit, that we are [no longer orphans bound by fear, but instead] children of God." ? (Romans 8:16 KJV)

This is the message we have to share that is different than anything the world can offer, "God is our merciful Father and the source of all comfort. He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us." (2 Corinthians 1:3-4 NLT)

Truth vs. Lies

Our minds fill with thoughts constantly. These thoughts indicate what we believe. By allowing untruths to inhabit our minds, we believe lies. To practice the verb of believing God’s Truth, we must “fix our thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.” (Philippians 4:8)

My thought life is where I often accept defeat. He reminds me of this when He says, “You make alliances not directed by my Spirit…” (Isaiah 30:1) My thoughts are in agreement with the enemy’s words to me not God’s Holy Spirit, thus bringing about my downfall. “I cry out to God; yes I shout. Oh, that God would listen to me! When I was in deep trouble, I searched for the Lord. All night long I prayed, with hands lifted toward heaven, but my soul was not comforted. I think of God, and I moan, overwhelmed with longing for his help.” (Psalm 77:1-3)

But, God doesn’t want this for me. He wants victorious living. “For I have chosen you and will not throw you away. Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.” (Isaiah 41:9-10) It is the belief in the lie, the alliance not directed by His Spirit, that has gotten me to this place. So, I must instead decide to believe Him and not the lie if there is any hope of rescue. I must decide to participate in His miracle for me by changing the way I think through agreement in my mind with His Spirit.

“But then I recall all you have done, O Lord; I remember your wonderful deeds of long ago. They are constantly in my thoughts. I cannot stop thinking about your mighty works. O God, your ways are holy. Is there any god as mighty as you? You are the God of great wonders! You demonstrate your awesome power among the nations. By your strong arm, you redeemed your people…” (Psalm 77:11-15) He adds, “Instead of dwelling in thought patterns contrary to who you know Me to be, ‘remember the things I have done in the past. For I alone am God! I am God, and there is none like me.’” (Isaiah 46:9)

God has done and continues to do a mighty work in my life for His glory. My thoughts must reflect who I know Him to be. “My dear, combat the enemy’s lies with the Truth of who ‘I AM.’” (Exodus 3:14) Changing any behavior requires a conscious effort. It must be the same for my thought life as well.

Recent Relevance

My most recent days spent in God’s Word have been a salve to my deeply wounded soul. I have opened His precious Word to find strength, comfort, encouragement, ammunition, safety, and rest. The shelter of His Word has been my refuge. “Those who live in the shelter of the Most High will find rest in the shadow of the Almighty. This I declare about the Lord: He alone is my refuge, my place of safety; he is my God, and I trust him.” (Psalm 91:1-2)

Struggling to fight the mental assault, I realize the importance of “[letting] God transform [me] into a new person by changing the way [I] think.” (Romans 12:2) I recognize the need to “let the Spirit renew [my] thoughts and attitudes.” (Ephesians 4:23) Yet, in my desperation, the same old lies engulf my belief. I cried to Him the other night screaming, “I have head knowledge of the Truth in these verses, but I have no new thoughts. Give me new thoughts. Help me fight!” Then, as I talked with my mother the next day, explaining those moments from the night before with her, I remembered what I had read just that morning. He had answered my desperate plea with these words: “Now I will tell you new things, secrets you have not yet heard. They are brand new, not things from the past… Yes, I will tell you of things that are entirely new, things you never heard of before.” (Isaiah 48:6,7,8) I paused to soak in the very real answer He provided and then read of His promise for rescue. “I have refined you, but not as silver is refined. Rather, I have refined you in the furnace of suffering. I will rescue you for my sake – yes, for my own sake! I will not let my reputation be tarnished…” (Isaiah 8:10-11)

My depression is a matter of belief. Who do I believe? Despite my feelings of the moment, do I believe God? Do I believe His voice to me over the lies that seem to reflect my current state? There is a war going on in my mind. God has asked me to believe Him. I have lived my entire life believing I am who my enemy says I am. God wants to give me new thoughts to replace the belief in this lie, this voice of defeat.

He continues, “‘I have equipped you for battle.’ (Isaiah 45:5) You are not defeated. Fight the enemy’s voice with My Truth. ‘Fear not; you will no longer live in shame. Don’t be afraid; there is no more disgrace for you… For the Lord has called you back from your grief… In that coming day no weapon turned against you will succeed. You will silence every voice raised up to accuse you. These benefits are enjoyed by the servants of the Lord; their vindication will come from me. I, the Lord, have spoken!” (Isaiah 54:4,6,17)

Although I have yet to experience the total healing He promises me, I must proclaim, “How great is the goodness you have stored up for those who fear you. You lavish it on those who come to you for protection, blessing them before the watching world. You hide them in the shelter of your presence, safe from those who conspire against them. You shelter them in your presence, far from accusing tongues.” (Psalm 31:19-20) For, “morning by morning he wakens me and opens my understanding to his will. The Sovereign Lord has spoken to me, and I have listened… Because the Sovereign Lord helps me, I will not be disgraced. Therefore, I have set my face like a stone, determined to do his will. And I know that I will not be put to shame. He who gives me justice is near.” (Isaiah 50:4,5,7,8)

There is more, so much more. I want so desperately to share all that He has provided and promised me lately, but that is my story. That is His relevance to my very individual and specific needs at this time. What He draws me to share with you is the testimony of my experience with Him, and that He so longs to have that same personal relationship with you as well.

God wants to do for you just what He has done for me in the past few days. He wants to surprise you by the significance of the Truth in His Word to your current situation so that you too are drawn to Him for refreshment. “Search the book of the Lord, and see what he will do.” (Isaiah 34:16)

The Great God Cycle

I just finished my "God Time" and was listening to my ipod as I began the endless laundry task. How Great Is Our God was playing. A line in that song reminded me of what I had just read in Isaiah. "Sing with me how great is our God, and all will see how great is our God." I had just read, "And why have I called you for this work? Why did I call you by name when you did not know me? It is for the sake of Jacob my servant, Israel my chosen one." (Isaiah 45:4) It occurs to me in this moment that's the point. He's calling us to a life lived for, by and through Him so that others He has chosen may see His greatness in us and proclaim the same through their lives as well.

Marsh Grass

I have had a wild ride through Isaiah these past few days. God has been pouring out His glorious goodness upon the parched ground of my desperate soul. "Then the Lord will bless you with rain... So it will be when the Lord begins to heal his people and cure the wounds he gave them." (Isaiah 30:23,26)

In Isaiah 35, I read again of the mighty rescue God has planned for me. "There the Lord will display his glory, the splendor of our God. With this news, strengthen those who have tired hands, and encourage those who have weak knees. Say to those with fearful hearts, 'Be strong and do not fear, for your God is coming to destroy your enemies. He is coming to save you." (vv. 2-4) For in this place, this new town, this new home, this new church, this place of seemingly endless sadness dragging me down inside, "there the Lord will display his glory... [my] God is coming to save me" and seeks to encourage me by His Word.

As I kept reading, I knew He very well meant "this" place because I read, "Marsh grass and reeds and rushes will flourish where desert jackals once lived... Lions will not lurk along its course." (v. 7, 9) My life's journey has taken me in and out of my own wilderness desert. Jackals have hunted, attacked and feasted on my life. I have lived in fear of the great lion, the devil (1 Peter 5:8), who has literally lurked around every corner waiting to devour me in my depression. But, God promises a different life to me in these verses, a life that flourishes, a life that no longer fears these predators. In this place He has brought our family, we literally cannot turn to the right or to the left without seeing marsh grass, reeds and rushes. I know full well He means for each sight of this beautiful grassy wetland to be a reminder of this incredible promise He has for me.

Then He caps off my moments in this chapter with verse 10. "Sorrow and mourning will disappear, and they will be filled with joy and gladness." Then comes His tender, sweet voice, "Your depression will disappear and you will be filled with joy and gladness. The marsh grass around you is a reminder of my promises to you. I love you, my dear! Believe My promises!"

Some May Call Me Crazy

I've been venturing through Isaiah lately. My journey through this book has been highly personal and has kept me from wanting to share in this place. Yet, I remember His voice to me only a few weeks ago in Psalm 107:1-2, "Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good! His faithful love endures forever. Has the Lord redeemed you? Then speak out! Tell others he has redeemed you from your enemies." So, here I am...

The depth of this pilgrimage began in chapter 30. God personalized a few of these verses so that they hit home. "You make plans that are contrary to mine. You make alliances not directed by my Spirit, [believing Satan's lies and not My Truth], thus piling up your sins. For without consulting me you have [sought help, strength, and solace in believing who others think you are]. You have put your trust in [wanting to be this person they think you to be]." Because I have believed the enemy's destructive voice always reminding me I am not good enough, I have put my hope and trust in the front I put forward that gives others the impression I am "normal." The impression that I don't live in fear of what others think of me. The impression that because God and I are tight I have it all together. The impression that my daily time in His Word hearing His voice makes my life something to be envied.


The truth is actually quite different. If others really knew what went on inside my head, then they might consider "God's voice" to be just another voice I hear in my head. That if others really, and I mean really knew me, they might really think me CRAZY and not all Christian. And if others thought this way, then God's purposes for me are void.


It was in this thought process and my struggle with depression where God began to speak to me and seek further transformation. He sought for me to want to be who He was calling me to be more than wanting to be who others thought me to be. I know many that I am close to think of me as "good." Because I have believed for so long that I am not good enough, I found comfort in others believing me to be good enough. But, I had to hide who I really was from them because if they truly understood me deeply, then I would no longer be held in such high esteem. At this realization, He said, "In returning and rest shall ye be saved..." (KJV 30:15) A closer look at the Hebrew speaks volumes. Returning means retirement or withdrawal and rest means rest (of death). While saved means be delivered, be liberated, be victorious. It became clear what He was speaking, "Retirement from your old way of living in unbelief, complete withdrawal from wanting to be what others think of you, dying to this part of you is how I (God) will deliver and liberate you and cause you to be victorious over depression. 'If you try to hang on to your life, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for my sake, you will save it.' (Matthew 16:25)"

My rescue will come as I reveal more of myself to others. It's scary. Will I be accepted? Will I be loved? But, that's just His point. What others think of me should have no bearing. I should strive to please God and God only. I am made in His image and it is good.