It is my desire to share my very personal intimate relationship with my God with others. I want them to know Him, really know Him. Not just know about Him, but know Him.
I lived so much of my life with God in a box. He was who I perceived Him to be outside of daily time in His word learning Him. I see many living just as I did for so long and yearn for them to grow deeper and wider in their knowledge and understanding of who He is and the reality of Him in their lives.
Matthew 13:11-16 lays out my turmoil. "You are permitted to understand the secrets of the Kingdom of Heaven, but others are not. To those who listen to my teaching, more understanding will be given, and they will have an abundance of knowledge. But for those who are not listening, even what little understanding they have will be taken away from them. That is why I use these parables, For they look, but they don't really see. They hear, but they don't really listen or understand. This fulfills the prophecy of Isaiah that says, 'When you hear what I say, you will not understand. When you see what I do, you will not comprehend. For the hearts of these people are hardened, and their ears cannot hear, and they have closed their eyes-- so their eyes cannot see, and their ears cannot hear, and their hearts cannot understand, and they cannot turn to me and let me heal them.' But blessed are you eyes, because they see, and your ears, because they hear."
We have the opportunity to know God yet we choose not to by not allowing the messages we hear to transform our lives. Listening implies application of what was heard. It is the cry of my heart that all desire God's transformation in their lives. Desiring to be unsatisfied with our sinful selves, we come to Him seeking new life. In the words of the band Evanescence, "Wake us up inside!"
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Hard Choices
Most times I come here I have a good idea what will end up on the page. Today I'm not so sure. I'm drawn to write here... now..., but unsure where today's journey will take us.
I have been digging in 2 Peter 1 for the past few days. Every verse seems to be screaming depth into my heart and mind. I want to fully grasp it all so have stayed put for the past few days until all is discovered.
I take you to verse 3, "By his divine power, God has given us everything we need for living a godly life." Do you ever find it easier to be Jesus to perfect strangers or even acquaintances than to those you are closest to? That is my current position. I feel His divine power to be His hands, feet, ears, and mouth out there, but at home it is quite a different picture. Inside these walls I struggle to live in the fullness of who God is, yet this verse reminds me He has already given me what I need. I should not think it a difficult task to love my two boys because then I am not believing the Truth of His Word that speaks to me today.
I continue to receive what I need by staying in the Word. "We have received all of this by coming to know him..." (v. 3) The more I seek to know Him, the more He gives me for living a godly life. "...[H]e has given us great and precious promises. These are the promises that enable you to share his divine nature and escape the world's corruption caused by human desires." (v.4) It is a choice. If I choose to accept this gift, I get His divine nature living through me in my words and actions, AND I escape the world's corruption. OR, I choose my own human desires, my way, what I want.
Staying in the Word reminds me that I do have a choice to fight my flesh when screaming uncontrollably at the overactive five year old chasing a giant dog inside the house seems like my only option. Staying in the Word reminds me of my choice to intentionally build my husband up with words of affirmation instead of spouting off all about me. Staying in the Word reminds me that it is a choice to die to my wants and ways and instead think of others before myself. "Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. Don't look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too." (Philippians 2:3-4)
He's given me all I need for living a godly life inside my home, but I have to want it more than I want my own way. It is my choice. Will I choose the power of His divine nature dwelling within me or will I choose my own?
I really like my way... it is so hard to let go... I am not strong enough... I am weak... "My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness." (2 Corinthians 12:9) And so I choose obedience to Your call for me inside my home. "For when I am weak, then I am strong." (2 Corinthians 12:10) ..."For I can do everything through Christ who gives me strength." (Philippians 4:13) May I be your hands, feet, ears and mouth inside my home as well.
I have been digging in 2 Peter 1 for the past few days. Every verse seems to be screaming depth into my heart and mind. I want to fully grasp it all so have stayed put for the past few days until all is discovered.
I take you to verse 3, "By his divine power, God has given us everything we need for living a godly life." Do you ever find it easier to be Jesus to perfect strangers or even acquaintances than to those you are closest to? That is my current position. I feel His divine power to be His hands, feet, ears, and mouth out there, but at home it is quite a different picture. Inside these walls I struggle to live in the fullness of who God is, yet this verse reminds me He has already given me what I need. I should not think it a difficult task to love my two boys because then I am not believing the Truth of His Word that speaks to me today.
I continue to receive what I need by staying in the Word. "We have received all of this by coming to know him..." (v. 3) The more I seek to know Him, the more He gives me for living a godly life. "...[H]e has given us great and precious promises. These are the promises that enable you to share his divine nature and escape the world's corruption caused by human desires." (v.4) It is a choice. If I choose to accept this gift, I get His divine nature living through me in my words and actions, AND I escape the world's corruption. OR, I choose my own human desires, my way, what I want.
Staying in the Word reminds me that I do have a choice to fight my flesh when screaming uncontrollably at the overactive five year old chasing a giant dog inside the house seems like my only option. Staying in the Word reminds me of my choice to intentionally build my husband up with words of affirmation instead of spouting off all about me. Staying in the Word reminds me that it is a choice to die to my wants and ways and instead think of others before myself. "Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. Don't look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too." (Philippians 2:3-4)
He's given me all I need for living a godly life inside my home, but I have to want it more than I want my own way. It is my choice. Will I choose the power of His divine nature dwelling within me or will I choose my own?
I really like my way... it is so hard to let go... I am not strong enough... I am weak... "My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness." (2 Corinthians 12:9) And so I choose obedience to Your call for me inside my home. "For when I am weak, then I am strong." (2 Corinthians 12:10) ..."For I can do everything through Christ who gives me strength." (Philippians 4:13) May I be your hands, feet, ears and mouth inside my home as well.
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Comfort Food
Today as I read in 1 Peter my soul feasted on fair that my God used to wrap His arms around me. There are many times when He speaks that He seeks transformation in me. Today was a day where He just poured down his love by confirming His desires for me through the Truth in His Word.
It began in chapter 4 verses 2 & 3, “You won’t spend the rest of your lives chasing your own desires, but you will be anxious to do the will of God. You have had enough in the past of the evil things that godless people enjoy…” In the past couple of weeks, He’s called me to try some new things and expand others, none of which were even on my radar when I moved to this new place almost a year ago. Some things seem crazy, yet, as I follow through in obedience, He proves Himself faithful. It is just as these verses describe. I anticipate the next thing He spurs me to participate in with Him and no longer cling to the desires of my flesh.
I laugh out loud at the next few verses and His very relevant, very literal Word to my precious heart. “… be earnest and disciplined in your prayers.” (1 Peter 4:7) He called me specifically to pray for my son today after I read in 1 Peter. (Read blog entry “Birthday Presents.”) Next, I read, “God has given you a gift from his great variety of spiritual gifts. Use them well to serve one another. Do you have the gift of speaking? Then speak as though God himself were speaking through you. Do you have the gift of helping others? Do it with all the strength and energy that God supplies.” (1 Peter 4:10-11) We are all gifted in different ways as the verses suggest, but it’s crazy that God has been stretching me in these two primary areas. He’s been asking me to speak out about His work in my life and to devote intentional time each week to helping others. These verses just reaffirm that I am hearing Him correctly.
Thank you, God. Thank you for keeping me on your path and letting me know that I’m right where you want me. “Then everything you do will bring glory to God through Jesus Christ. All glory and power to him forever and ever! Amen.” (1 Peter 4:11)
It began in chapter 4 verses 2 & 3, “You won’t spend the rest of your lives chasing your own desires, but you will be anxious to do the will of God. You have had enough in the past of the evil things that godless people enjoy…” In the past couple of weeks, He’s called me to try some new things and expand others, none of which were even on my radar when I moved to this new place almost a year ago. Some things seem crazy, yet, as I follow through in obedience, He proves Himself faithful. It is just as these verses describe. I anticipate the next thing He spurs me to participate in with Him and no longer cling to the desires of my flesh.
I laugh out loud at the next few verses and His very relevant, very literal Word to my precious heart. “… be earnest and disciplined in your prayers.” (1 Peter 4:7) He called me specifically to pray for my son today after I read in 1 Peter. (Read blog entry “Birthday Presents.”) Next, I read, “God has given you a gift from his great variety of spiritual gifts. Use them well to serve one another. Do you have the gift of speaking? Then speak as though God himself were speaking through you. Do you have the gift of helping others? Do it with all the strength and energy that God supplies.” (1 Peter 4:10-11) We are all gifted in different ways as the verses suggest, but it’s crazy that God has been stretching me in these two primary areas. He’s been asking me to speak out about His work in my life and to devote intentional time each week to helping others. These verses just reaffirm that I am hearing Him correctly.
Thank you, God. Thank you for keeping me on your path and letting me know that I’m right where you want me. “Then everything you do will bring glory to God through Jesus Christ. All glory and power to him forever and ever! Amen.” (1 Peter 4:11)
Birthday Presents
Today my little man has turned five! A milestone… looking ahead this fall to Kindergarten and realizing he is no longer a baby. My first thoughts of him this morning imagined his excitement when he would tear open his real Fender Stratacaster Mini (i.e. electric guitar). I so delight in giving him his desires.
Yet, I was reminded of something more important that I can give him. I began asking God a few years ago to give me some Scripture to pray for my handsome little devil. He brought those two Scriptures to my mind this morning and asked me to recommit myself to desiring fulfillment of the things of this precious one’s spirit. God was asking me to get back to the place where I long for my boy to mature in his relationship with his Heavenly Father even more than I desire to give him his physical wants.
I pray: “My son, learn to know the God of your ancestors intimately. Worship and serve him with your whole heart and a willing mind. For the Lord sees every heart and knows every plan and thought. If you seek him, you will find him… Be strong and courageous, and do the work. Don’t be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord God, my God is with you. He will not fail you or forsake you… May the Lord bless you and protect you. May the Lord smile on you and be gracious to you. May the Lord show you his favor and give you his peace.” (1 Chronicles 28:9, 20; Numbers 6:24-26)
Wanting to give my sweet musician his wish was not wrong, even God feels this way toward us (Psalm 34:7), but God used it to teach me. Oh, that I always remain teachable! “Tune your ears to wisdom and concentrate on understanding. Cry out for insight, and ask for understanding. Search for them as you would for silver, seek them like hidden treasures. Then you will understand what it means to fear the Lord and you will gain knowledge of God.” (Proverbs 2:2-5)
Yet, I was reminded of something more important that I can give him. I began asking God a few years ago to give me some Scripture to pray for my handsome little devil. He brought those two Scriptures to my mind this morning and asked me to recommit myself to desiring fulfillment of the things of this precious one’s spirit. God was asking me to get back to the place where I long for my boy to mature in his relationship with his Heavenly Father even more than I desire to give him his physical wants.
I pray: “My son, learn to know the God of your ancestors intimately. Worship and serve him with your whole heart and a willing mind. For the Lord sees every heart and knows every plan and thought. If you seek him, you will find him… Be strong and courageous, and do the work. Don’t be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord God, my God is with you. He will not fail you or forsake you… May the Lord bless you and protect you. May the Lord smile on you and be gracious to you. May the Lord show you his favor and give you his peace.” (1 Chronicles 28:9, 20; Numbers 6:24-26)
Wanting to give my sweet musician his wish was not wrong, even God feels this way toward us (Psalm 34:7), but God used it to teach me. Oh, that I always remain teachable! “Tune your ears to wisdom and concentrate on understanding. Cry out for insight, and ask for understanding. Search for them as you would for silver, seek them like hidden treasures. Then you will understand what it means to fear the Lord and you will gain knowledge of God.” (Proverbs 2:2-5)
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Raised in the Church
I sometimes think about my childhood and the fortunate circumstances of being raised in a Christian home that kept me at church constantly. Some of my earliest memories stem from experiences at church. I often felt like I lived at the church. Samuel was no different. From the time he was weaned from his mother, he lived (yes, literally, not figuratively as in my case) at the Temple working for the high priest, Eli. "Meanwhile, the boy Samuel served the Lord by assisting Eli." (1 Samuel 3:1)
Despite Samuel's dedicated life in service to the Lord, he "did not yet know the Lord because he had never had a message from the Lord before." (1 Samuel 3:7) How could Samuel not know the Lord when his entire life was spent in service to the Lord? He helped with all the Old Testament rituals of running the Temple. I'm sure He knew the in's and out's of the types of sacrifices and which sacrifices were offered when and how. The Israelites are steeped in knowing God through ritual at the time of Samuel, yet we are told that Samuel does NOT yet know the Lord.
I remember a verse from Hosea, "I want you to show love not offer sacrifices. I want you to know me more than I want burnt offerings." (6:6) Christ quotes this verse to the Pharisees, those seeking perfection by keeping the law, twice in Matthew (9:13, 12:7). Obviously there is more to knowing God than head knowledge. We can have lots of head knowledge of God through Bible stories and religious rituals, but unless we allow that knowledge to transform our hearts we do not know God either. It is when God speaks a message to our hearts and we allow Him access to the deepest places to change us into someone that looks more like His Son that we truly know Him.
"Oh, that we might know the Lord! Let us press on to know him. He will respond to us as surely as the arrival of dawn or the coming of rains in early spring." (Hosea 6:3)
Despite Samuel's dedicated life in service to the Lord, he "did not yet know the Lord because he had never had a message from the Lord before." (1 Samuel 3:7) How could Samuel not know the Lord when his entire life was spent in service to the Lord? He helped with all the Old Testament rituals of running the Temple. I'm sure He knew the in's and out's of the types of sacrifices and which sacrifices were offered when and how. The Israelites are steeped in knowing God through ritual at the time of Samuel, yet we are told that Samuel does NOT yet know the Lord.
I remember a verse from Hosea, "I want you to show love not offer sacrifices. I want you to know me more than I want burnt offerings." (6:6) Christ quotes this verse to the Pharisees, those seeking perfection by keeping the law, twice in Matthew (9:13, 12:7). Obviously there is more to knowing God than head knowledge. We can have lots of head knowledge of God through Bible stories and religious rituals, but unless we allow that knowledge to transform our hearts we do not know God either. It is when God speaks a message to our hearts and we allow Him access to the deepest places to change us into someone that looks more like His Son that we truly know Him.
"Oh, that we might know the Lord! Let us press on to know him. He will respond to us as surely as the arrival of dawn or the coming of rains in early spring." (Hosea 6:3)
The Word is Life
I began reading 1 Peter this week. It's a bit strong, but here we go. "For you have been born again, but not to a life that will quickly end. Your new life will last forever because it comes from the eternal living word of God." (1 Peter 1:23) We know this to be true because our salvation is found in Christ... "If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved." And we read in John, "In the beginning the Word already existed. The Word was with God, and the Word was God. He existed in the beginning with God. God created everything through him, and nothing was created except through him. The Word gave life to everything that was created, and his life brought light to everyone." So, Jesus gives us our salvation as the eternal living Word of God.
Yet, there is practical application in the last sentence of verse 23 of 1 Peter. "Your new life will last forever because it comes from the eternal living word of God." If we stick our noses in the eternal living Word of God (aka The Bible), won't we be face to face with Jesus, His very character and nature? Our "new life" will be evidenced in us as we get into God's Word. When we are seeking God through the study of His Word, He infuses the very life of Jesus into us.
From a life lived apart from the intentional study of God's Word, I can safely say that the opposite is also true. I spent my Christian life beginning at age 8 until I was 29 believing that I should read the Bible because that's what good Christians do. I had it on my list of must-do's, but never seemed to be consistent. At the ripe old age of 29 1/2, I decided I was going to win this battle (ha)! So, I created a spreadsheet containing my own personal ideas of what I must do each day in order to be this good Christian woman I thought I should be. Needless to say, the spreadsheet never had every item checked on a single day. (Some days had nothing checked off!) It was in this process that I learned reading my Bible is not about gaining brownie points with God or feeling good about myself. It is about allowing God access to breathe "new life" into me.
We need this "new life" otherwise we die a little each day. "People are like grass; their beauty is like a flower in the field. The grass withers and the flower fades. But the word of the Lord remains forever." (1 Peter 1:24-25) We cannot do this thing, live on earth, in our own human strength. It is fading. But, the Word of the Lord breathed into us brings forth new life through Christ Jesus.
Not only do we need His life breathed into us, but God has more to offer us than church on Sunday and heaven after we die! "You must crave pure spiritual milk so that you will grow into a full experience of salvation." (1 Peter 2:2) God wants to share more of himself with us. He wants us to share more of ourselves with Him. It's called relationship. Here God becomes relevant to your very specific tasks, needs, heartaches, joys, and you begin to participate in His purposes. You can experience His fullness there!
Be mindful, fullness is never totally achieved this side of heaven. No one reaches the goal, including me. "I don't mean to say that I have already achieved these things or that I have already reached perfection. But I press on to possess that perfection for which Christ Jesus first possessed me." (Philippians 3:12)... And, I "cry out for this nourishment, now that [I] have had a taste of the Lord's kindness." (1 Peter 2:2-3)
So together we, the body of Christ, determine to not be satisfied. "So let us stop going over the basic teachings about Christ again and again. Let us go on instead and become mature in our understanding. Surely we don't need to start again with the fundamental importance of repenting from evil deeds and placing our faith in God. You don't need further instruction about baptisms, the laying on of hands, the resurrection of the dead, and eternal judgement. And so, God willing, we will move forward to further understanding." (Hebrews 6:1-3)
Crave His life breathed in you by His word. (And when I don't crave Him, I ask Him to stir in me a deep yearning for His presence.) "O God, you are my God; I earnestly search for you. My soul thirsts for you, my whole body longs for you in this parched and weary land where there is no water. I have seen you in your sanctuary and gazed upon your power and glory. Your unfailing love is better than life itself; how I praise you! I will praise you as long as I live, lifting up my hands to you in prayer. You satisfy me more than the richest feast. I will praise you with songs of joy." (Psalm 63:1-5)
Yet, there is practical application in the last sentence of verse 23 of 1 Peter. "Your new life will last forever because it comes from the eternal living word of God." If we stick our noses in the eternal living Word of God (aka The Bible), won't we be face to face with Jesus, His very character and nature? Our "new life" will be evidenced in us as we get into God's Word. When we are seeking God through the study of His Word, He infuses the very life of Jesus into us.
From a life lived apart from the intentional study of God's Word, I can safely say that the opposite is also true. I spent my Christian life beginning at age 8 until I was 29 believing that I should read the Bible because that's what good Christians do. I had it on my list of must-do's, but never seemed to be consistent. At the ripe old age of 29 1/2, I decided I was going to win this battle (ha)! So, I created a spreadsheet containing my own personal ideas of what I must do each day in order to be this good Christian woman I thought I should be. Needless to say, the spreadsheet never had every item checked on a single day. (Some days had nothing checked off!) It was in this process that I learned reading my Bible is not about gaining brownie points with God or feeling good about myself. It is about allowing God access to breathe "new life" into me.
We need this "new life" otherwise we die a little each day. "People are like grass; their beauty is like a flower in the field. The grass withers and the flower fades. But the word of the Lord remains forever." (1 Peter 1:24-25) We cannot do this thing, live on earth, in our own human strength. It is fading. But, the Word of the Lord breathed into us brings forth new life through Christ Jesus.
Not only do we need His life breathed into us, but God has more to offer us than church on Sunday and heaven after we die! "You must crave pure spiritual milk so that you will grow into a full experience of salvation." (1 Peter 2:2) God wants to share more of himself with us. He wants us to share more of ourselves with Him. It's called relationship. Here God becomes relevant to your very specific tasks, needs, heartaches, joys, and you begin to participate in His purposes. You can experience His fullness there!
Be mindful, fullness is never totally achieved this side of heaven. No one reaches the goal, including me. "I don't mean to say that I have already achieved these things or that I have already reached perfection. But I press on to possess that perfection for which Christ Jesus first possessed me." (Philippians 3:12)... And, I "cry out for this nourishment, now that [I] have had a taste of the Lord's kindness." (1 Peter 2:2-3)
So together we, the body of Christ, determine to not be satisfied. "So let us stop going over the basic teachings about Christ again and again. Let us go on instead and become mature in our understanding. Surely we don't need to start again with the fundamental importance of repenting from evil deeds and placing our faith in God. You don't need further instruction about baptisms, the laying on of hands, the resurrection of the dead, and eternal judgement. And so, God willing, we will move forward to further understanding." (Hebrews 6:1-3)
Crave His life breathed in you by His word. (And when I don't crave Him, I ask Him to stir in me a deep yearning for His presence.) "O God, you are my God; I earnestly search for you. My soul thirsts for you, my whole body longs for you in this parched and weary land where there is no water. I have seen you in your sanctuary and gazed upon your power and glory. Your unfailing love is better than life itself; how I praise you! I will praise you as long as I live, lifting up my hands to you in prayer. You satisfy me more than the richest feast. I will praise you with songs of joy." (Psalm 63:1-5)
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
The Voice of Reason
Boy, sometimes I get a hot head over mistreatment by others. When I have gone out of my way to be nice and good to them and they come back at me with cutting words or are totally unappreciative, I can burn with rage inside. A lot of times that rage spews forth in words and intended vengeance.
David is not any different. He is human like me, feeling very frustrated at a figurative slap in the face. "A lot of good it did to help this fellow. We protected his flocks in the wilderness and nothing he owned was lost or stolen. But he has repaid me evil for good. May God strike me and kill me if even one man of his household is still alive tomorrow morning." (1 Samuel 5:21-22) Talk about rage and vengeance... David was going to kill this man and all his family, too.
What I hate most about feeling this wretched way is listening to someone who is sensible and tries to talk me down from my mountain of deserved anger and bitterness. I deserve to feel this way and there's nothing anyone can say or do to change my mind. I will especially not back down from my miserable position because the other person does not deserve to be let off the hook.
Yet David reacts differently when approached by the voice of reason named Abigail. "David replied to Abigail, 'Praise the Lord, the God of Israel, who has sent you to me today! Thank God for your good sense!' " (1 Samuel 25:32-33)
Would I ever be willing to let go of my anger and listen to such a voice of reason? "Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you." (Ephesians 4:31-32) Aren't I too undeserving of forgiveness? Yet my Heavenly Father has forgiven me. Jesus himself reminds us in Luke 6, “But to you who are willing to listen, I say, love your enemies! Do good to those who hate you. Bless those who curse you. Pray for those who hurt you. If someone slaps you on one cheek, offer the other cheek also. If someone demands your coat, offer your shirt also. Give to anyone who asks; and when things are taken away from you, don’t try to get them back. Do to others as you would like them to do to you. If you love only those who love you, why should you get credit for that? Even sinners love those who love them! And if you do good only to those who do good to you, why should you get credit? Even sinners do that much!" (vv.27-33)
May my response next time be as David's, "Bless you for keeping me from [vengeance]." (1 Samuel 25:33)
David is not any different. He is human like me, feeling very frustrated at a figurative slap in the face. "A lot of good it did to help this fellow. We protected his flocks in the wilderness and nothing he owned was lost or stolen. But he has repaid me evil for good. May God strike me and kill me if even one man of his household is still alive tomorrow morning." (1 Samuel 5:21-22) Talk about rage and vengeance... David was going to kill this man and all his family, too.
What I hate most about feeling this wretched way is listening to someone who is sensible and tries to talk me down from my mountain of deserved anger and bitterness. I deserve to feel this way and there's nothing anyone can say or do to change my mind. I will especially not back down from my miserable position because the other person does not deserve to be let off the hook.
Yet David reacts differently when approached by the voice of reason named Abigail. "David replied to Abigail, 'Praise the Lord, the God of Israel, who has sent you to me today! Thank God for your good sense!' " (1 Samuel 25:32-33)
Would I ever be willing to let go of my anger and listen to such a voice of reason? "Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you." (Ephesians 4:31-32) Aren't I too undeserving of forgiveness? Yet my Heavenly Father has forgiven me. Jesus himself reminds us in Luke 6, “But to you who are willing to listen, I say, love your enemies! Do good to those who hate you. Bless those who curse you. Pray for those who hurt you. If someone slaps you on one cheek, offer the other cheek also. If someone demands your coat, offer your shirt also. Give to anyone who asks; and when things are taken away from you, don’t try to get them back. Do to others as you would like them to do to you. If you love only those who love you, why should you get credit for that? Even sinners love those who love them! And if you do good only to those who do good to you, why should you get credit? Even sinners do that much!" (vv.27-33)
May my response next time be as David's, "Bless you for keeping me from [vengeance]." (1 Samuel 25:33)
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Fears...
I am here. I love this place with Him.
I read again in 1 Samuel today in chapter 23. There was a "word" there this morning, yet I knew deep within that He meant for me to get something more. So, the end of my journal entry this morning said, "O Lord, God of Israel, please tell me." (v. 11) Jesus speaks to me next and says, "What do you want me to do for you, [Cara]?" I replied with the words of the blind man to whom he speaks those words to in Mark 10:51, "I want to see [You]!" I then prayed Psalm 63:1-5 to Him. When I am unsettled, even slightly, I only know to remember He is GOD. I knew He would reveal Himself. That all said, His Truth in 1 Samuel 23 is still to this moment being made more real, more whole.
I read the beginning of the chapter this morning with focus on David's drivenness to seek God's will for him. Before David made a move to rescue those in Keilah from the Philistines, he petitions God. "David asked the Lord, 'Should I go... ?' " (v.2) Wanting to be sure he heard God correctly the first time, "David asked the Lord again, and again the Lord replied..." (v.4) There are those rare moments, though growing less and less rare, where my relationship with God resembles conversations like these David has with his Lord. I can identify with David. I really seek to live all God's plans for me in even the most mundane task. Yet, I knew this was not all He had for me today.
Fast forward my day to about 11:30 a.m. I was at Bible study watching session four of Beth Moore's newest study, a study on Esther. (God is so good in His relevance. He knows I can only attempt to learn more of Him if He overlaps single lessons into several areas of my life.) Without giving you my commentary on the entire 4 weeks of the study so far, I do feel obliged to provide background.
King Xerxes has proclaimed, at the hand of his evil sidekick, Haman, the Jews of Susa will be exterminated in 11 months. Esther, queen and, unbeknownst to anyone but her uncle, a Jew, is faced with the choice to remain silent or go before the king and plead for a reprieve for her people. The choice seems simple, but listen to the scene she explains to her uncle. "All the king's officials and even the people in the provinces know that anyone who appears before the king in his inner court without being invited is doomed to die unless the king holds out his gold scepter. And the king has not called for me to come to him for thirty days." (Esther 4:11)
Whoa! Everyone, including Esther, needed to be asked for specifically by the king to even speak with him. Let that sit... Now, think about her last sentence, "And the king has not called for me to come to him for thirty days." Remember, Esther is one of at least two wives. Plus the king has an entire harem of concubines at his disposal. Talk about insecurity.
Knowing these facts, I see that Esther is not merely faced with death at the hand of Haman the anti-Semitic and not just death at her husband's hand. But, Esther is faced with the fear of not being chosen. "...anyone who appears before the king in his inner court without being invited is doomed to die unless the king holds out his gold scepter." She hasn't been asked for by the king in thirty days... I would be terrified I was no longer his chosen woman, and he would offer no mercy if I were to step into his presence uninvited. More than death, it would break my heart that my man may no longer choose me!
Fear of not being chosen... no longer being "the one"... not good enough. This is a great lie that I can find at the root of my every fear, my every indecisive moment, everything that keeps me immobilized and unable to participate in God's purposes for me. When Beth spoke today of Esther facing her fear, I identified myself with Esther. God then spoke a verse from earlier in the week, 1 Peter 2:9, "...for you are a chosen people. You are royal priests, a holy nation, God's very own possession." God has chosen me! I am chosen by the One who matters most!
Realizing this truth, He urged me to look at the very practical application of just what does my fear, believing my lie, keep me from participating in today. I was drawn back to 1 Samuel 23 for some strange reason and read more clearly verses that did not stand out earlier this morning. "David asked the Lord, 'Should I go...?' "Yes, go..." the Lord told him. But David's men said, 'We're afraid here in Judah. We certainly don't want to go to Keilah to fight...' So David asked the Lord again, and again the Lord replied, 'Go... for I will help you...' " (vv.2-4) Reading that with fresh eyes, understanding my fear is what keeps me from choosing His destiny for me, I hear Him say, "Cara, you come to me asking me to lead and guide you. I have given you very specific direction, but you choose not to participate out of fear that your lie may be true. I've answered you and said to go. You are like David's men, afraid even at home. Why do you think you will not be afraid if I call you out of your comfort zone? Be faithful in the small steps. 'To those who use well what they are given, even more will be given and they will have and abundance. But from those who do nothing, even what little they have will be taken away.' (Matthew 25:29) Use the truth, power and understanding I have given you and you will be given more, my dear! Live all my plans for you. I am answering you again, 'Go... for I will help you...' "
No matter what He's calling us to, we can choose to participate in His destiny for us bravely, courageously. For we have been chosen by Him for His purposes and He will help us!
I read again in 1 Samuel today in chapter 23. There was a "word" there this morning, yet I knew deep within that He meant for me to get something more. So, the end of my journal entry this morning said, "O Lord, God of Israel, please tell me." (v. 11) Jesus speaks to me next and says, "What do you want me to do for you, [Cara]?" I replied with the words of the blind man to whom he speaks those words to in Mark 10:51, "I want to see [You]!" I then prayed Psalm 63:1-5 to Him. When I am unsettled, even slightly, I only know to remember He is GOD. I knew He would reveal Himself. That all said, His Truth in 1 Samuel 23 is still to this moment being made more real, more whole.
I read the beginning of the chapter this morning with focus on David's drivenness to seek God's will for him. Before David made a move to rescue those in Keilah from the Philistines, he petitions God. "David asked the Lord, 'Should I go... ?' " (v.2) Wanting to be sure he heard God correctly the first time, "David asked the Lord again, and again the Lord replied..." (v.4) There are those rare moments, though growing less and less rare, where my relationship with God resembles conversations like these David has with his Lord. I can identify with David. I really seek to live all God's plans for me in even the most mundane task. Yet, I knew this was not all He had for me today.
Fast forward my day to about 11:30 a.m. I was at Bible study watching session four of Beth Moore's newest study, a study on Esther. (God is so good in His relevance. He knows I can only attempt to learn more of Him if He overlaps single lessons into several areas of my life.) Without giving you my commentary on the entire 4 weeks of the study so far, I do feel obliged to provide background.
King Xerxes has proclaimed, at the hand of his evil sidekick, Haman, the Jews of Susa will be exterminated in 11 months. Esther, queen and, unbeknownst to anyone but her uncle, a Jew, is faced with the choice to remain silent or go before the king and plead for a reprieve for her people. The choice seems simple, but listen to the scene she explains to her uncle. "All the king's officials and even the people in the provinces know that anyone who appears before the king in his inner court without being invited is doomed to die unless the king holds out his gold scepter. And the king has not called for me to come to him for thirty days." (Esther 4:11)
Whoa! Everyone, including Esther, needed to be asked for specifically by the king to even speak with him. Let that sit... Now, think about her last sentence, "And the king has not called for me to come to him for thirty days." Remember, Esther is one of at least two wives. Plus the king has an entire harem of concubines at his disposal. Talk about insecurity.
Knowing these facts, I see that Esther is not merely faced with death at the hand of Haman the anti-Semitic and not just death at her husband's hand. But, Esther is faced with the fear of not being chosen. "...anyone who appears before the king in his inner court without being invited is doomed to die unless the king holds out his gold scepter." She hasn't been asked for by the king in thirty days... I would be terrified I was no longer his chosen woman, and he would offer no mercy if I were to step into his presence uninvited. More than death, it would break my heart that my man may no longer choose me!
Fear of not being chosen... no longer being "the one"... not good enough. This is a great lie that I can find at the root of my every fear, my every indecisive moment, everything that keeps me immobilized and unable to participate in God's purposes for me. When Beth spoke today of Esther facing her fear, I identified myself with Esther. God then spoke a verse from earlier in the week, 1 Peter 2:9, "...for you are a chosen people. You are royal priests, a holy nation, God's very own possession." God has chosen me! I am chosen by the One who matters most!
Realizing this truth, He urged me to look at the very practical application of just what does my fear, believing my lie, keep me from participating in today. I was drawn back to 1 Samuel 23 for some strange reason and read more clearly verses that did not stand out earlier this morning. "David asked the Lord, 'Should I go...?' "Yes, go..." the Lord told him. But David's men said, 'We're afraid here in Judah. We certainly don't want to go to Keilah to fight...' So David asked the Lord again, and again the Lord replied, 'Go... for I will help you...' " (vv.2-4) Reading that with fresh eyes, understanding my fear is what keeps me from choosing His destiny for me, I hear Him say, "Cara, you come to me asking me to lead and guide you. I have given you very specific direction, but you choose not to participate out of fear that your lie may be true. I've answered you and said to go. You are like David's men, afraid even at home. Why do you think you will not be afraid if I call you out of your comfort zone? Be faithful in the small steps. 'To those who use well what they are given, even more will be given and they will have and abundance. But from those who do nothing, even what little they have will be taken away.' (Matthew 25:29) Use the truth, power and understanding I have given you and you will be given more, my dear! Live all my plans for you. I am answering you again, 'Go... for I will help you...' "
No matter what He's calling us to, we can choose to participate in His destiny for us bravely, courageously. For we have been chosen by Him for His purposes and He will help us!
Friday, February 6, 2009
Just a Little Self-Control
I haven't been here in quite a few days and have missed it terribly. I love this place, but find it difficult to carve out time to devote here. Regardless, I have made it here today. Hooray!
I am now reading 1 Samuel. In chapter 15, I was slapped in the face as I saw a not so wonderful part of me in the character of Saul. God had given Saul strict orders when conquering the Amalekites, "Now go and completely destroy the entire Amalekite nation - ..." As if the words "completely" and "entire" did not clarify God's wishes, He proceeds, "men, women, children, babies, cattle, sheep, goats, camels and donkeys." (v. 3) (I will refrain from any explanation for God wanting children and babies killed because that is not why I write today.) We see God redundantly tell Saul to destroy it all when conquering this people.
But, Saul fell victim to the insatiable lust for more. Saul didn't just want it all, he was particular about his plunder. "Saul and his men spared Agag's (the king) life and kept everything ... that appealed to them. They destroyed only what was worthless or of poor quality." Boy this hits hard. Saul allowed his eyes and desires for more nice stuff to trump obedience to God.
We just recently built and moved into a new house. I am embarrassed to admit all the cash I went through when we moved in. New curtains (for every window), new vacuum cleaner, new air fresheners, new towels and shower curtain, new candles, new canisters for holding pet food and treats, new dish rags and towels (because of course old ones just could not be used in a new kitchen)... It is not what I bought or even that I did not put it on credit. It is the excess. I allowed my eyes and my desire for more nice stuff to trump God's desires for me and the new house He provided us. Because I had the money and I could, I did. I did not consult God or even wait to see what He might want to provide.
God isn't calling us not to have anything, just not to have everything. He knows the human heart can never really have everything. "No matter how much we see, we are never satisfied. No matter how much we hear, we are not content." (Ecclesiastes 1:8) (This verse reminds me of how I allow advertising to lure me into that insatiable lust for more and better.)
Only God satisfies. "For he satisfies the thirsty and fills the hungry with good things." (Psalm 107:9) What am I hungry for? Will I let God satisfy me? Sometimes that means exhibiting a little self-control. My husband says it best, "Just because you can doesn't mean you should."
I am now reading 1 Samuel. In chapter 15, I was slapped in the face as I saw a not so wonderful part of me in the character of Saul. God had given Saul strict orders when conquering the Amalekites, "Now go and completely destroy the entire Amalekite nation - ..." As if the words "completely" and "entire" did not clarify God's wishes, He proceeds, "men, women, children, babies, cattle, sheep, goats, camels and donkeys." (v. 3) (I will refrain from any explanation for God wanting children and babies killed because that is not why I write today.) We see God redundantly tell Saul to destroy it all when conquering this people.
But, Saul fell victim to the insatiable lust for more. Saul didn't just want it all, he was particular about his plunder. "Saul and his men spared Agag's (the king) life and kept everything ... that appealed to them. They destroyed only what was worthless or of poor quality." Boy this hits hard. Saul allowed his eyes and desires for more nice stuff to trump obedience to God.
We just recently built and moved into a new house. I am embarrassed to admit all the cash I went through when we moved in. New curtains (for every window), new vacuum cleaner, new air fresheners, new towels and shower curtain, new candles, new canisters for holding pet food and treats, new dish rags and towels (because of course old ones just could not be used in a new kitchen)... It is not what I bought or even that I did not put it on credit. It is the excess. I allowed my eyes and my desire for more nice stuff to trump God's desires for me and the new house He provided us. Because I had the money and I could, I did. I did not consult God or even wait to see what He might want to provide.
God isn't calling us not to have anything, just not to have everything. He knows the human heart can never really have everything. "No matter how much we see, we are never satisfied. No matter how much we hear, we are not content." (Ecclesiastes 1:8) (This verse reminds me of how I allow advertising to lure me into that insatiable lust for more and better.)
Only God satisfies. "For he satisfies the thirsty and fills the hungry with good things." (Psalm 107:9) What am I hungry for? Will I let God satisfy me? Sometimes that means exhibiting a little self-control. My husband says it best, "Just because you can doesn't mean you should."
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